


typing...

by togallifreywego



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - British, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Animal Crossing References, Animal Crossing: New Leaf, Deaf Clint Barton, Doctor Who References, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, How Do I Tag, IM SORRY im a stupid brit with no idea how american high schools work, M/M, Memes, Non-binary Loki, References to Vine, THERE ARE SO MANY TAGS IM SORRY, Tags Are Hard, except pietro because i have no clue how to write him tbh, probably haven't tagged all the characters either whoops, so many friendships that i couldn't be bothered to tag them all, texting fic, this whole fic is just a meme pls enjoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21685207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/togallifreywego/pseuds/togallifreywego
Summary: bucketbornes:sam i love you <3watchyourlanguage:what did you doprincessmerida:what did you donatherat:what did you dobirbboi:what did you dobucketbornes:why cant i just tell my boyfriend that i love him >:(bucketbornes:feeling so attacked rnOr, the Avengers are high school kids who function on 2 hours of sleep and desperation. What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Thor, Hela & Loki & Thor (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Scott Lang & Ava Starr & Hope Van Dyne, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne, Sharon Carter & Steve Rogers, Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Wanda Maximoff/Ava Starr, past Steve Rogers/Tony Stark - Relationship
Comments: 122
Kudos: 280





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow look at me starting another multi chapter fic, I have no self control  
> avengers in high school fic **but** plot twist its set in a british high school because im a clueless brit who knows nothing about American high schools!! besides, british high schools are iconic if my school is anything to go by  
> chat nicknames will be at the start of the groupchats if that makes sense :)))  
> *rhodeys username i got from a texting fic by i think opacityxl

**'we're calling our chat the antfam and THAT is the tea'**  
**members:**  
**ansty** \- Scott Lang  
**hopeingfordeath** \- Hope Van Dyne  
**petey** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
[8:59 p.m.]

 **lokiamood:** whats up bitches

 **lokiamood:** ready to go back to hell?

 **antsy:** while we're on the subject of school

 **witchbitch:** pls say youre moving schools

 **petey:** wanda thats mean >:(

 **areyoushuriabouthat:** its what were all thinking tbh

 **antsy:** ANYWAYS

 **antsy:** you know how hopes dad has this new business partner

 **antsy:** well hes got a daughter our age whos coming to our school

_**ansty** has added **Ava Starr** to the chat_

**antsy:** meet ava!!!

 **hopeingfordeath:** tbh we thought she was kind of a bitch at first but ill deal with her

 **Ava Starr:** hope, im going to rip out your heart xxx

 **lokiamood:** i love her

 **witchbitch:** i love her

 **lokiamood:** haha i got there first :p

 **antsy:** ava im chaging your username to something better

_**ansty** has changed **Ava Starr's** username to **pennywise**_

**pennywise:** i make you try and summon spirits with me while horror movies play in the background o n e time

 **areyoushuribouthat:** oddly specific tbh like whats the story there

 **hopeingfordeath:** whatever spooky, go watch some horror movies

 **hopeingfordeath:** also shut up shuri :)

 **witchbitch:** not to be nsfw but marry me pls ava

 **witchbitch:** or we could do some occult magic instead im not fussy

 **lokiamood:** wait i wanna do occult magic too dont leave me out D:

 **antsy:** suddenly i reget adding her to the chat

\--------

 **a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[9:04 p.m.]

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**bucketbornes:** sam i love you <3

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**watchyourlanguage:** what did you do

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**princessmerida:** what did you do

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**natherat:** what did you do

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**birbboi:** what did you do

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**bucketbornes:** why cant i just tell my boyfriend that i love him :(

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**bucketbornes:** feeling so attacked rn

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**birbboi:** im walking back to your house and if you dont tell me what youve done ill eat your fries

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**bucketbornes:** you know those cookies you brought over

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**bucketbornes:** alpine MAY have eaten a couple when i was looking for something good on netflix

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**bucketbornes:** and by some i mean all

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**birbboi:** tHAT FUCKING CAT

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**bucketbornes:** [ _happyalpine.jpg_ ]

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**bucketbornes:** at least hes happy

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**birbboi:** im gonna eat all your fries <3

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\--------

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**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**petey** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**pep** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[9:26 p.m.]

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**imthebest:** pepper im changing your username

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**tonysbabysitter:** should we be scared

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_**imthebest** changed **pep's** username to **futureceo**_

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**futureceo:** :D

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**petey:** pep ur so PURE ily

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**petey:** also nebs is ur user an arctic monkeys lyric

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**sendingmetodespair:** yes. tony introducted me to them

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**sciencegay:** youre too edgy for your own good

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**imthebest:** n e ways peter + i are marathoning jessie does anyone wanna join

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**futureceo:** are you guys actually six

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**petey:** we were looking for something to watch and apparently still pay for disney channel

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**imthebest:** so does anyone wanna come watch or not

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**sendingmetodespair:** why would i wish to watch a children's show?

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**imthebest:** because we have ben and jerrys icecream

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**tonysbabysitter:** omw

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**areyoushuribouthat:** i have no words.

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\--------

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**the kardashians? we only know the odinsons**  
**members:**  
**deathkink** \- Hela Odinson  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
**stormlover** \- Thor Odinson  
[9:47 p.m.]

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**deathkink:** BROTHERS

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**lokiamood:** im adopted

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**deathkink:** BIOLOGICAL AND ADOPTED BROTHERS

 **lokiamood:** im not a BOY hela

 **deathkink:** BIOLOGICAL BROTHER AND ADOPTED SIBLING

 **lokiamood:** thats more like it

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**deathkink:** WHICH ONE OF YOU ATE MY ICECREAM?!

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**lokiamood:** probably you wont believe this but it wasnt me

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**lokiamood:** scott + hope have this new friend thats into occult stuff so i was too busy plotting on how best to curse thor

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**stormlover:** what flavour icecream was it

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**deathkink:** IT WAS CALLED DEATH BY CHOCOLATE

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**lokiamood:** do you only eat things that have death in the name you hardcore emo

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**deathkink:** LOKI SHUT UP

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**deathkink:** i need to find and kill the culprit

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**stormlover:** so bruce and i were watching netflix

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**lokiamood:** and chilling? ;))))))

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**stormlover:** so bruce and i were watching netflix and NOT CHILLING

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**stormlover:** and bruce was craving icecream

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**lokiamood:** 'craving' yes i forgot that your boyfriend is pregnant/on his period

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**deathkink:** loki SHUTUP i want thor to confess so i can kill him

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**deathkink:** thor, continue

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**stormlover:** bruce wanted icecream

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**stormlover:** so i went to look in the freezer and your icecream was the first one i saw

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**lokiamood:** this is why i label my food with death threats

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**deathkink:** thor where are you i want to murder you :D

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**lokiamood:** i hate this family

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to clear a few things up -  
> for loki, hela, thor, nebula etc im using the name of their dad and then adding son on the end like they did in the movies for thor and loki  
> according to the mcu and i think mythology hela would have had a different surname but it wouldnt make sense for hela to have a different surname to loki and thor as theyre siblings in this fic :) im just using 'dottir' on the end of thanos's name for nebula nebula becuase thats how helas name would have been if id decided to do it according to the mcu i think?? also i did some research and apparently t'challas surname in a couple of the comics was udaku so guess what shuris surnames gonna be  
> also, peter and tony are cousins and live together (happy looks after them when howard+maria are not there) just because that shits cute


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **petey:** D I S C O S T A N
> 
>  **areyoushuribouthat:** im not sure if i love or hate you for that pete

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for giving me kudos, bookmarks, comments etc already!! means a lot <3  
> also, im headcannoning that ava has just moved from argentina in this since shes from argentina in canon right? so obv she wouldn't know brit slang  
> also, ofc shuri is still wakandan + im making the odinsons norgwegian because their characters are from norse mythology but shuri and the odinsons understand brit slang in this because they've been in the uk all their lives (that makes sense right? when i moved to a different part of the uk i picked up the slang pretty quick)

**'we're calling our chat the antfam and THAT is the tea'**  
**members:**  
**ansty** \- Scott Lang  
**hopeingfordeath** \- Hope Van Dyne  
**petey** \- Peter Parker  
**pennywise** \- Ava Starr  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
[7:39 a.m.]

 **pennywise:** why did none of you tell me that school buses were so horrible i hate you all xxx

 **hopeingfordeath:** yeah lmao theyre rank

 **pennywise:** rank????

 **antsy:** it means distusting

 **petey:** D I S C O S T A N

 **areyoushuribouthat:** im not sure if i love or hate you for that pete

 **pennywise:** also wanda why are you just staring and saying nothing im confused

 **petey:** how do you know what wands looks like tho

 **pennywise:** hope introduced us properly because she says im too 'antisocial'

 **pennywise:** back in a minute a guy just got on the bus with a LABRADOR

\--------

 _ **witchbitch** created a new chat_  
_**witchbitch** added **antsy** and **hopeingfordeath** to the chat_  
_**witchbitch** named the chat **traitors**_  
[7:41 a.m.]

 **witchbitch:** youre both traitors you never told me ava was so damn pretty?!!!

 **witchbitch:** yeah ik i said on the chat that i loved her and wanted to marry her

 **witchbitch:** but like now i actually DO

 **antsy:** sksks wands you useless lesbian

 **hopeingfordeath:** scott you actual vsco girl

\--------

**a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[7:42 a.m.] 

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**princessmerida:** gorls we have a problem

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**birbboi:** hell yes we do i left my money at home and im craving a greggs pasty

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**princessmerida:** not what i meant sam

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**princessmerida:** the problem IS that natty and i are no longer the schools local hot spies

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**bucketbornes:** nobody has ever called you the hot spies

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**watchyourlanguage:** 'natty'

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**natherat:** why are we no longer the local hot spies of the school?!

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**princessmerida:** theres a new kid how did we not know this

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**watchyourlanguage:** why do you want to know anything and everything about the school

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**natherat:** none of your business steven

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**natherat:** also clint i need information on them

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**princessmerida:** i got on the bus with lucky and she wanted to pet him

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**princessmerida:** shes called ava and shes from argentina

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**princessmerida:** shes friends with scott lang and hope van dyne

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**natherat:** this is a disaster

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**bucketbornes:** youre being just a BIT dramatic

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**natherat:** hey barnes do you want me to remove your kneecaps or something

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**watchyourlanguage:** that is... very specific

 **birbboi:** does anyone have money they can lend me for that sausage roll or not?

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\--------

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**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**petey** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[12:10 p.m.] 

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**petey:** if i could go back in time just once i would travel to year9 peter and tell him to never ever take gcse geography

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**petey:** we have to learn so much for the exam!!

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**petey:** miss hill set us a test and its not even half of the course but its so much :(((

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**areyoushuribouthat:** could not be me sis

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_**areyoushuribouthat** changed **petey's** username to **stressedbaby**_

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**stressedbaby:** hey!! im not a baby!! >:(

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_**stressedbaby** changed **stressedbaby's** username to **petey**_

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_**areyoushuribouthat** changed **petey's** username to **stressedbaby**_

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**stressedbaby:** SHURI :0

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**tonysbabysitter:** pete this might cheer you up :)))))

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**imthebest:** rhodey no you promised

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**imthebest:** everyones going to stalk him

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**sendingmetodespair:** no, no. i'm interested now

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**tonysbabysitter:** tonys in loooooove

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**tonysbabysitter:** stephen strange got put into our set for english this year

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**tonysbabysitter:** tony didnt do any work he just sat there staring at stephens ass

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**imthebest:** hes got a nice ass rhodey stfu!!!!

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**tonysbabysitter:** stephen walked past our desk and tony dropped his book

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**imthebest:** that was a blessing in disguise because clint barton yeeted a compass at me at that moment

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**futureceo:** im going to hold off giving you the 'go for it!!' pep talk because clint barton did what now

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**imthebest:** it did hit brock rumlow because i bent down to pick up my book so this is shaping up to be a good day

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**sendingmetodespair:** looks like you've finally stopped being all sad about steve rogers then?

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**stressedbaby:** go tony!!!

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**sciencegay:** wait,,, im pretty sure stephen is friends with thor and nebula's sister

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**imthebest:** :DDD

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**imthebest:** brucie bear can you ask thor to find out if hes single

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**areyoushuribouthat:** pls picture me rolling my eyes right out of my head rn

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\--------

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**a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[12:30 p.m.]

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**princessmerida:** guess who got detention and two days of isolation fuckerz

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**bucketbornes:** pls never say 'fuckerz' ever again

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**natherat:** clinton.

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**watchyourlanguage:** i can almost sense natasha planning to kill you from the other side of the school

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**bucketbornes:** steve?? texting in class?? who are you and what have you done with stevie

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**watchyourlanguage:** im in maths class

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**bucketbornes:** fair enough tbh

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**natherat:** lets focus on the issue at hand boys

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**bucketbornes:** yes ma'am

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**natherat:** what did you do clinton

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**princessmerida:** in my defense i was aiming for tony stark

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**princessmerida:** i threw a compass

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**princessmerida:** but stark m o v e d and my compass hit brock rumlow

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**bucketbornes:** not a bad turn of events tbh

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**princessmerida:** it actually didn't leave a mark so they only put me on report and gave me isolation

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**watchyourlanguage:** why did you aim for tony though

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**princessmerida:** well he was just out there

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**princessmerida:** existing

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**princessmerida:** and staring at stephen stranges butt when he should be begging steve for forgiveness

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**watchyourlanguage:** clint please :(

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**bucketbornes:** tbf ive never heard him express so much sadness in one text

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**natherat:** as i overheard peter quill telling mantis brandt at lunch today

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**natherat:** just because you ameriCAN doesnt mean you ameriSHOULD

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**bucketbornes:** and on that note id like to put away my phone before i get screeched at by mr coulson

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**birbboi:** is now a bad time to show you all a picture of the greggs bucky bought for me

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**natherat:** samuel

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**birbboi:** [ _greggsisamazing.png_ ]

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**natherat:** sometimes i wonder whether you have your priorities in order

********** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is veryvery bad and even more unfunny(is that a word) than my last chapter i am so sorry!!! also i wanna include the guardians but i cant think of good surnames for rocket and groot >:( for mantis and drax i'm using their comics surnames, so for mantis thats brandt and for drax thats douglas)  
> also whoop!! introducing a teeny tiny plot line!! i have no idea what im going to do with the past steve/tony thing though whoopsie  
> also i take geograohy gcse and i actually really enjoy the course, but omg there is so much to learn :(


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **sciencegay:** tony i love you is it possible that you're overthinking this?
> 
>  **areyoushuribouthat:** because you definitely didn't overthink and panic about thors every breath back when you were crushing on him
> 
>  **sciencegay:** pfft noooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i havent updated this fic in a while whoops! probably i wont update it until after Christmas (i feel so Christmassy its unreal!!) because i havent actually planned out what i want to happen after this chapter D: maybe this is why it takes me so long to update all my fics lol.  
> (ps i have included mantis and drax and they have their comic book surnames!!)

**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[12:49 p.m.]

 **imthebest:** guys i think im in love

 **sendingmetodespair:** love is a chemical reaction

 **stressedbaby:** then tony would be shit at creating it as long as stephen strange is around

 **imthebest:** hes very distracting, im actually in love with him guys stfu

 **imthebest:** we got partnered together for a practical in physics and i nearly electrocuted quentin beck because stephen SMILED at me

 **stressedbaby:** jasper sitwell laughed at him

 **imthebest:** yeah well if i my hand slipped i would have electrocuted him too so suck my dick jasper :P

 **areyoushuriobouthat:** sounds like you want stephen strange to suck it though ;)

 **tonysbabysitter:** can confirm that tony just went b r i g h t red and whispered 'facts'

\--------

 **keeping up with the odinsons**  
**members:**  
**deathkink** \- Hela Odinson  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
**stormlover** \- Thor Odinson  
[4:30 p.m.]

 **stormlover:** which one of you put SPIDERS in my room

_**deathkink** has read **stormlover's** message_

_**lokiamood** has read **stormlover's** message_

**stormlover:** you know what?

 **stormlover:** im disowning myself

 **lokiamood:** FINALLY hela and i can be emo in peace

 **deathkink:** speak for yourself bitch you broke my charger and now i have to ask thor to borrow his all the damn time

 **lokiamood:** wow love u 2

\--------

 **drax's metaphor class**  
**members:**  
**porcupinequill** \- Peter Quill  
**shrekbutstabby** \- Gamora Thanosdottir  
**kicknamestakeass** \- Mantis Brandt  
**thedestroyer** \- Drax Douglas  
**strangerthings** \- Stephen Strange  
**stormlover** \- Thor Odinson  
[5:03 p.m.]

 **strangerthings:** i got paired with tony stark in physics

 **strangerthings:** he is so SMART and PRETTY and FUNNY

 **strangerthings:** hes so good at everything wtf

 **strangerthings:** dont want to be overdramatic but i think i want to marry him you guys

 **shrekbutstabby:** oh dear.

 **porcupinequill:** why does adding a full stop to the end of a message make it like a billion times more threatening

 **kicknamestakeass:** why do you want to marry tony stark though? bucky says hes kind of really mean...

 **shrekbutstabby:** because you and bucky barnes are absolute bffs mantis.

 **kicknamestakeass:** we sit next to each other in chemistry :D

 **thedestroyer:** tell us more stephen i need to decide if stark is worthy enough for you

 **stormlover:** bruce is friends with him!!! he's nice mantis

 **strangerthings:** ive found his Instagram

 **porcupinequill:** h o w

 **strangerthings:** i found bruce's account on thor's page and bruce has him tagged in a picture

 **porcupinequill:** because that isn't creepy at ALL

 **strangerthings:** shut up guys im going to message him

 **thedestroyer:** WHAT makes you think thats a good idea

 **stormlover:** go for it stephen!!! YOLO

 **strangerthings:** no offence drax but im going to take advice from someone in a relationship :p

 **shrekbutstabby:** this is going to end well.

 **porcupinequill:** is nobody going to talk about how thor unironically said YOLO?

\--------

 **Instagram Direct Messages**  
strangestephen -> tony.stark  
[5:04 p.m.]

 **strangestephen:** hey! thanks for helping me not kill the whole class in physics :) biology is more my thing but i really enjoyed working with you! want to be partners next time we get to choose?

_**tony.stark** is typing..._

\--------

 **peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[5:05 p.m.]

 **imthebest:** guysguysguys he messaged meeeeee

 **imthebest:** what do i do

 **sendingmetodepsair:** obviously you should text him back, idiot

 **imthebest:** yes but what do i SAY

 **imthebest:** peter is logged onto my instagram on my laptop so it looks like im typing a message and havent left him on read

 **sciencegay:** tony i love you but is it possible that you're overthinking this?

 **areyoushuribouthat:** because you definitely didn't overthink and panic about thors every breath back when you were crushing on him

 **sciencegay:** pfft noooo

 **imthebest:** guys instead of being mean bruce do you think you could you know.... HELP ME because stephens going to think im writing a fucking essay

 **tonysbabysitter:** send us a screenshot of the message then dumbass

 **imthebest:** [ _guysplshelp.png_ ]

 **sendingmetodepsair:** you really are overthinking this, tony

 **futureceo:** just message him back with 'hi stephen, i would love to be partners :)'

 **imthebest:** love might make me seem too eager though :(

 **tonysbabysitter:** just say 'that would be nice' or something then damn

 **areyoushuribouthat:** tony youre so overdramatic i love you

 **imthebest:** peter says i should just send 'hi, you're welcome! it would be nice to be partners again :)'

 **sendingmetodespair:** there, was that so hard?

 **imthebest:** >:(

\--------

 **traitors**  
**members:**  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
**ansty** \- Scott Lang  
**hopeingfordeath** \- Hope Van Dyne  
[10:19 p.m.]

 **ansty:** so wanda have you slept with ava yet

 **witchbitch:** go to hell scott xxxx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you can tell, i didn't end up including rocket and groot because i have NO IDEA how to write them as high schoolers lol and b) i couldn't think of good usernames etc for them to have which is so annoying!!  
> im hoping to update my other multi chapter fic before Christmas though. but if i dont, i hope everyone has an amazing Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/any other holidays that are celebrated at this time of year/just hope everyone has a nice festive season in general :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **witchbitch:** dont wanna be nsfw on main but i think im in l*ve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, guys! how's your Christmas/festive season in general going? for Christmas I got a laptop, which I am veryvery happy about since now I wont have to beat my sister home everyday to get onto the computer! I did also get the flu which was not so nice as I lost my voice lol but i got loads of marvel dvds so ive watched all of them lol

**a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[9:32 a.m.]

 **natherat:** i dont have a s/o and im sad about it so im going to costa who wants to come

 **bucketbornes:** im coming i want iced coffee

 **princessmerida:** bucky youre the most basic gay ive ever met

 **princessmerida:** sometimes i forget that im the only straight one in this chat

 **natherat:** shut your fuck 

**natherat:** does anyone else wanna come with us

 **natherat:** except clint hes not allowed

 **princessmerida:** why

 **natherat:** because i said so xx

\--------

 **traitors**  
**members:**  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
**ansty** \- Scott Lang  
**hopeingfordeath** \- Hope Van Dyne  
[9:37 a.m.]

 **witchbitch:** guys im meeting ava at 10 and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO WEAR

 **antsy:** youre what now wands

 **hopeingfordeath:** my ship is sailing

 **witchbitch:** H E L P

 **antsy:** ok hang on

_**antsy** has added **stressedbaby** , **areyoushuribouthat** and **lokiamood** to the chat_

_**antsy** has named the chat **mission: get wanda a gf**_

**lokiamood:** its way too early for this

 **witchbitch:** LOKI

 **witchbitch:** YOU HAVE GOOD FASHION SENSE

 **witchbitch:** HELP PLS

 **stressedbaby:** whats going on i havent had my coffee yet

 **witchbitch:** im meeting ava in 20 minutes and i dont have a fucking clue what to wear

 **areyoushuribouthat:** omg my otp :,)

 **hopeingfordeath:** ok is it a date date or are you guys just hanging out and you've overthought this

 **lokiamood:** even if its not a date date she still has to make an impression hope

 **witchbitch:** she didnt SAY it was a date but she wants to go to costa since were partners for our english project

 **antsy:** we got set those projects yesterday this is not like ava

 **antsy:** she likes to procrastinate see

 **hopeingfordeath:** trust me wands this is promising

 **hopeingfordeath:** her dad sent her to this science club in the summer and she did all the experiments and stuff the night before

 **stressedbaby:** !!!!!

 **lokiamood:** wanda you need to look EXTRA good then

 **lokiamood:** wear that cute black dress and cat tights

 **areyoushuribouthat:** and your doc martens and you should def curl your hair

 **lokiamood:** send us a picture when youre done

 **witchbitch:** [ _howdoilook.jpg_ ]

 **lokiamood:** my work here is done

\--------

 **a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[10:03 a.m.]

 **natherat:** GIRLS

 **natherat:** specifically one girl

 **natherat:** who served us in costa

 **bucketbornes:** i had to order for nat because she was speechless

 **bucketbornes:** she looked very familiar for some reason though idk why

 **birbboi:** spill the tea nat what did she look like

 **princessmerida:** we want to know everything

 **natherat:** shes BLONDE

 **natherat:** and you know i have a thing for blondes

 **natherat:** shes got BROWN EYES

****

**birbboi:** so shes literally ticking every damn box on the 'nat's dream gf' list

****

**natherat:** and i dont even have to go through that awkward phase wondering if shes into girls because SHE HAD A LESBIAN PIN ON HER APRON

********

**bucketbornes:** also apparently nat has never seen anyone with an ass that nice

********

**natherat:** THAT WAS MEANT TO BE BETWEEN JUST US

********

**natherat:** it was l u x u r i o u s

********

**natherat:** i want her to sit on my face

********

**birbboi:** well now i want to remove my eyeballs and bleach that text from my brain

********

**princessmerida:** nat did you, you know, act like a normal person and read her name tag? we need more info so i can find her instagram

********

**natherat:** pfft of course i did

********

**bucketbornes:** she did not, she was too busy staring and blushing like a year7

********

**watchyourlanguage:** oof back in a minute

********

\--------

********

**get steve rogers to swear 2019**  
**members:**  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**bigdickenergy** \- Sharon Carter  
[10:11 a.m.]

********

**watchyourlanguage:** sharon did you have a shift at costa today

********

**bigdickenergy:** weird question but yes

********

**watchyourlanguage:** [ _buckyandnat.jpg_ ]

********

**watchyourlanguage:** did you serve these two people

********

**bigdickenergy:** yeah i think so

********

**bigdickenergy:** why?

********

**watchyourlangauge:** no reason

********

**watchyourlanguage:** no reason AT ALL

********

**bigdickenergy:** steve.

********

**watchyourlanguage:** gtg bye sharon!!!!

********

\--------

********

**mission: get wanda a gf**  
**members:**  
**ansty** \- Scott Lang  
**hopeingfordeath** \- Hope Van Dyne  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
[3:58 p.m.]

********

**witchbitch:** dont wanna be nsfw on main but i think im in l*ve

********

**antsy:** i was gonna ask how your not-date went but i think that answers my question

********

**lokiamood:** its nearly four pm how the fuck do you spend like 6 hours in a costa

********

**witchbitch:** ;)

********

**stressedbaby:** WANDA YOU DIDNT

********

**areyoushuribouthat:** someone call the bbc: lonely lesbian finally got laid

********

**hopeingfordeath:** pls tell me you were safe

********

**witchbitch:** calm your tits guys

********

**witchbitch:** we went back to her house

********

**witchbitch:** and we kissed ok? K I S S E D

********

**lokiamood:** wanda and ava sitting in a tree

********

**stressedbaby:** K I S S I N G

********

**witchbitch:** i would get my goth gf ava to turn you into toddlers but obv you already act like them so i wont bother 

********

**antsy:** can your ship name be murder wives pls

********

**hopeingfordeath:** that would be ava and natasha romanoff though

********

**witchbitch:** ava is officially MINE now so nobody should be thinking about ship names for her and natasha romanoff

********

**lokiamood:** its true, they've both put 'taken' in their Instagram bios so its official

_**antsy** named the chat **mission accomplished**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i say this at the end of like every chapter but this is,,, the crappiest most unfunny thing ive written bYeE  
> also, 2020 is in like a few hours for me that is mAD,,, will i ever stop thinking that 2015 was last year? NO  
> theyre all going to costa in this chapter because costa is the best ok


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **imthebest:** can i elope with him rn
> 
>  **futureceo:** in the middle of history class?
> 
>  **imthebest:** mr coulson ships it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't posted anything in like a month im sorry! im just finishing my science practical tests, so like half of this chapter has been sat in my drafts box for like a month AND my school is doing our mocks this week so yeah I should be revising for my chemistry exam but ive had a very triggering few days and I am anxious and jumpy so im finishing this to clam myself down enjoy!  
> also im maybe going to include petermj, as they were so cute in ffh and I shipped them so much more than peter and liz in hoco (sorry!! I did somewhat ship peter and liz tho, it was a cool bit of ~drama~)  
> also im going to cry about doctor who (fugitive of the judoon as I havent seen praxeus yet) in my note at the end so if you havent watched **fugitive of the judoon** yet, *river song voice* SPOILERS!! (if anyone gets my reference i will send you a virtual cookie :D)  
> also this is such a long note BUT THE TRAILER FOR THE NEW MARVEL SHOWS AND STUFF HNGGGHSNS SNAMBUCKY WANDAVISION LOKI WIDOWFAMMMM

**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[2:08 a.m.]

 **imthebest:** PETER BENJAMIN PARKER DID YOU EAT MY OREOS

 **stressedbaby:** r-rebecca, its not what you think!!

 **imthebest:** I WONT HESITATE BITCH

 **imthebest:** they were STRAWBERRY

 **areyoushuribouthat:** the strawberry ones are pENG

 **futureceo:** why would you use peng to describe food

 **futureceo:** its to describe people

 **futureceo:** for example peter thinks michelle jones is peng

 **stressedbaby:** PEP!!!!!

 **imthebest:** thats karma for eating my oreos you bitch

 **areyoushuribouthat:** pete when its an actual decent hour of the day were having words about you thinking michelle jones is fit

 **imthebest:** if strawberry oreos were a person theyd be peng

\--------

 **get steve rogers to swear 2019**  
**members:**  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**bigdickenergy** \- Sharon Carter  
[3:08 a.m.]

 **bigdickenergy:** so steve lets talk about your sudden need to know if im serving your friends

 **watchyourlanguage:** hehe actually sharon why dont we talk about why youre up at 3 in the morning, dont you have school tomorrow?

 **bigdickenergy:** stop changing the subject steven youre awake too

 **bigdickenergy:** so as i was SAYING

 **bigdickenergy:** why the sudden need to know if im serving your friends

_**watchyourlanguage** has read **bigdickenergy's** message_

\--------

 **tILL tHe eND oF tHe LinE <3**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
[3:11 a.m.]

 **watchyourlangauge:** mr james buchanan barnes i have a hunch

 **bucketbornes:** it better be a fucking good hunch i need my beauty sleep you punk

 **watchyourlangauge:** so i know the girl who nat had a gay panic over

 **bucketbornes:** the girl who served us at costa?

 **watchyourlangauge:** yes buck

**bucketbornes:** this is normally when you tell me who she is and how nat can get a date with her 

****

**watchyourlanguage:** her name is sharon carter and she's my mums friend peggys niece

****

**watchyourlanguage:** she likes carrot cake, martial arts and destroying gender roles

****

**bucketbornes:** oddly specific interests but she seems like a perfect fit for nat

****

**bucketbornes:** so mr matchmaker, how do we get them together?

****

**watchyourlanguage:** well for once in my life I have a plan

\--------

****

**drax's metaphor class**  
**members:**  
**porcupinequill** \- Peter Quill  
**shrekbutstabby** \- Gamora Thanosdottir  
**kicknamestakeass** \- Mantis Brandt  
**thedestroyer** \- Drax Douglas  
**strangerthings** \- Stephen Strange  
**stormlover** \- Thor Odinson  
[8:03 a.m.]

****

**porcupinequill:** TELL ME TOMORROW ILL WAIT BY THE WINDOW FOR YOU

****

**strangerthings:** what the actual fuck quill

****

**stormlover:** five words for you stephen: gavin and stacey christmas special

****

**strangerthings:** oh i thought quill had finally descended into madness ill go back to sleep now

****

**strangerthings:** dont kill me if i say ive never watched that show

****

**porcupinequill:** GAVIN AND STACEY IS ICONIC AF HOW D A R E

****

**shrekbutstabby:** i think your tony likes it, Stephen

****

**strangerthings:** suddenly i am very interested in gavin and stacey

****

**strangerthings:** also hes NOT my tony

****

**thedestroyer:** yet

****

\--------

****

**a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[8:24 a.m.]

****

**natherat:** im not being funny but can school just not

****

**natherat:** i am

****

**natherat:** so FUCKING tired

****

**princessmerida:** you stayed up all night thinking about miss luxurious ass didnt you

****

**natherat:** wtf no

****

**natherat:** maybe

****

**natherat:** … yes

****

**bucketbornes:** sam you owe me ten quid

****

**birbboi:** if i break up with you now do i still have to give it to you

****

**bucketbornes:** as if you'd break up with me, im too pretty

****

**princessmerida:** so modest too

****

**bucketbornes:** nats not the only one who can give death threats clint

****

**natherat:** shut up everyone i am a pan with a plan

****

**natherat:** im going back to costa tonight to see if shes there

****

**natherat:** then i can get her name and find her on instagram and message her

****

**birbboi:** thats just a bit creepy dont you think

****

**natherat:** dont crush my dreams sam

****

**natherat:** i am running off 5 cups of coffee and prayers so i will gut you

****

\--------

****

**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[11:26 a.m.]

****

**sciencegay:** did stephen strange actually just use a gavin and stacey themed pick up line on you tony 

****

**stressedbaby:** i can confirm that he did and tony.exe has stopped responding 

****

**tonysbabysitter:** i take back everything i said tones, i think maybe hes the one 

****

**sendingmetodespair:** but honestly, i don't blame us for being wary after steve rogers 

****

**imthebest:** sahdfhskdksal ahhhh he 

****

**imthebest:** he 

****

**areyoushuribouthat:** its ok take your time 

****

**imthebest:** can i elope with him rn 

****

**futureceo:** in the middle of history class? 

****

**imthebest:** mr coulson ships it

\--------

****

**drax's metaphor class**  
**members:**  
**porcupinequill** \- Peter Quill  
**shrekbutstabby** \- Gamora Thanosdottir  
**kicknamestakeass** \- Mantis Brandt  
**thedestroyer** \- Drax Douglas  
**strangerthings** \- Stephen Strange  
**stormlover** \- Thor Odinson  
[11:29 a.m.]

****

**shrekbutstabby:** i can't believe you just did that

****

**strangerthings:** end me. end me now and show me no mercy

****

**porcupinequill:** what did he do

****

**strangerthings:** gamora please dont tell him please i will actually beg you

****

**shrekbutstabby:** he used a gavin and stacey pick up line on tony stark

****

**porcupinequill:** oh my fucking god stephen

****

**porcupinequill:** please tell me you didnt call him sugar tits

****

**strangerthings:** thankfully i didnt

****

**strangerthings:** i cant believe i did that though

****

**strangerthings:** but he was just stood there and he looked so pretty my brain kind of stopped working

****

**shrekbutstabby:** i think he liked it though, im ngl

****

**strangerthings:** wait REALLY

****

**strangerthings:** you couldn't have told me that just AFTER i said it and the entire class started laughing?!

****

_**porcupinequill** named the chat **flirting 101**_

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek if anyone reads my notes and this one is l o n g I am sorry(I do enjoy giving little life updates in my notes even though probably nobody reads them lol), but **I got into my first choice college!!** I got into my first choice courses as well (psychology, biology, chemistry and law) and I am sososo happy :D also, yeah the gavin and stacey christmas special was announced in like may but just pretend it was announced in like october for me pls  
> +++ I have one friend who calls food peng and even though loads of people probably do it I just find it so funny for some reason  
> this is such a long note im very sorry ill stop myself now lol  
> also steve and sharons chat is still '2019' because in this fic it is like October time because I want to do a Christmassy chapter and yes that chapter will probably be posted in like april but ok
> 
> also hngkdkslals DOCTOR WHO!!! i cant believe captain jack is back!! he is one of my favourite fictional characters of all time and hes especially important to me as he was the first openly gay character - i mean, he was actually the first time id ever seen anyone, fictional or real, that was open and proud of their sexuality - i ever saw on tv, so you can imagine how important that was to tiny 11 year old me who only had straight friends and was very scared that something had gone wrong in their brain (im now very openly and proudly bi!!) i got a little emotional writing this im going to stop or i might actually cry (i did cry a little bit when i first saw him in that episode), see you guys in the next chapter!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **porcupinequill:** so i was out jogging
> 
>  **strangerthings:** ok mr health legend calm down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow you guys didn't have to wait too long for a chapter (pls feel free to skip through my rambling note if you want as its mostly just me crying over doctor who AGAIN)  
> I just really loved sundays ep ok I was crying because the mental health awareness made me sob!! also, yaz's backstory + graham's dream + the 5 seconds of the timeless child(it had me screaming ok screaming) also I lowkey feel like ryans going to leave and I really don't want him to, ive gotten to really like him this series I am sad  
> ps whatever your plans on valentines day, whether youre single or taken or whatever, have a lovely day <3

**flirting 101**  
**members:**  
**porcupinequill** \- Peter Quill  
**shrekbutstabby** \- Gamora Thanosdottir  
**kicknamestakeass** \- Mantis Brandt  
**thedestroyer** \- Drax Douglas  
**strangerthings** \- Stephen Strange  
**stormlover** \- Thor Odinson  
[9:37 a.m.]

 **porcupinequill:** good morning my fellow disappointments

 **porcupinequill:** i need some help

 **shrekbutstabby:** this better be some saving the world type shit because you should know to not wake me before 2 on a Saturday.

 **stormlover:** ill help!! hela already woke me up by trying to set fire to my curtains so im feeling very awake right now

 **porcupinequill:** ok so i need to know what to feed a raccoon

 **shrekbutstabby:** what

 **shrekbutstabby:** the

 **shrekbutstabby:** fuck

 **strangerthings:** funny how you're surprised that peter needs to know about raccoon care but not about thor's sister turning to arson instead of alarm clocks 

**shrekbutstabby:** nebula and I went through a phase of trying to kill each other. 

**shrekbutstabby:** we're okay now though :). 

**porcupinequill:** can i start my story now because this raccoon is not going to feed itself 

**strangerthings:** youre going to tell us this story anyway so go ahead ig 

**porcupinequill:** so i was out jogging

 **strangerthings:** ok mr health legend calm down

 **porcupinequill:** SO I WAS OUT JOGGING

 **porcupinequill:** and this little rustling noise was coming from one of the bushes

 **shrekbutstabby:** oh, i wonder whats going to be in the bushes.

 **thedestroyer:** obviously a raccoon gamora i thought you were smart

 **shrekbutstabby:** sarcasm, drax.

 **porcupinequill:** so ANYWAYS i heard this little rustling noise

 **porcupinequill:** and what was it? a raccoon

 **strangerthings:** and your immediate thought was to take it home with you

 **porcupinequill:** he was INJURED

 **porcupinequill:** im going to call him rocket

\--------

 **witchy wives <3**  
**members:**  
**pennywise** \- Ava Starr  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
[2:07 p.m.]

 **pennywise:** on a scale of 1 to 10

 **witchbitch:** is this another one of your weird conversation starters

 **witchbitch:** ive already told you that loki would absolutely be most likely to become a serial killer

 **witchbitch:** and also instead of date night we should absolutely curse scott

 **witchbitch:** your weird conversation starters are cute though <3

 **pennywise:** aww you've gone soft for me :,)

 **pennywise:** how do you know im not just luring you in so i can kill you

 **witchbitch:** what if i crave death though

 **pennywise:** thats concerning :(

 **witchbitch:** im joking babe

 **pennywise:** :)

 **pennywise:** anyway so what i was saying

 **pennywise:** on a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you like horror movies

 **pennywise:** because we should absolutely do a horror movie marathon for date night

 **pennywise:** not the basic ones though

_**witchbitch** has gone offline_

**pennywise:** wanda?

\--------

 **mission accomplished**  
**members:**  
**ansty** \- Scott Lang  
**hopeingfordeath** \- Hope Van Dyne  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
[2:13 p.m.]

 **witchbitch:** guys help

 **lokiamood:** oh dear what now

 **witchbitch:** ava asked to do a horror movie marathon for date night

 **witchbitch:** and im not the biggest fan of scary movies

 **hopeingfordeath:** oh yes i forgot

 **hopeingfordeath:** now im remembering the great movie night disaster of march 2018

 **witchbitch:** if you tell ava that i will kill you with a spoon

 **stressedbaby:** as a great man once said

 **stressedbaby:** im not great at advice but can i interest you in a sarcastic comment?

 **lokiamood:** thats a chandler bing quote

 **stressedbaby:** exactly

 **antsy:** pete you could not be sarcastic if your life depended on it

 **antsy:** youre too pure

 **stressedbaby:** ill just give you a sad emoji instead D:

 **areyoushuribouthat:** wanda why dont you just, you know, tell her thats not your thing like a normal person would

 **witchbitch:** im not a normal person though

 **areyoushuribouthat:** wandas nOt liKe oThEr GiRLs guys

\--------

 **putting the bi into bitch (ft. scott)**  
**members:**  
**hopeingfordeath** \- Hope Van Dyne  
**antsy** \- Scott Lang  
**pennywise** \- Ava Starr  
[2:43 p.m.]

 **hopeingfordeath:** ava why do you like horror movies so much

 **pennywise:** i just think theyre neat

 **hopeingfordeath:** 'neat'

 **antsy:** are they really a good date idea though??

 **pennywise:** i KNEW something was up with wanda

 **antsy:** hang on i never said anything was up with wanda

 **hopeingfordeath:** yeah but youre the most unsubtle person in the history of ever

 **pennywise:** i didn't stop to think that she wouldn't like them because shes into all that witchy stuff like me

 **hopeingfordeath:** just because youre jamie lee curtis #1 stan doesnt mean everyone is

 **pennywise:** ill talk to her about it

 **pennywise:** wanda did suggest cursing scott so thats a good date night option

_**antsy** changed **pennywise's** username to **screamqueenstan**_

**screamqueenstan:** for once in your life you made a good username choice

 **screamqueenstan:** maybe i can convince wanda to curse shuri instead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is quite short sorry, i wanted to make a filler chapter(and develop wanda and ava's relationship more because WIVES) because otherwise i would probably not have been able to get a chapter out for a couple of weeks as on the weekend when i usually have the most time to write i have plans with friends and all next week im going to be busy! hope you enjoyed it anyways <333  
> like wanda, im not a massive fan of horror movies (wanda not really liking horror films comes from the fic _baby you're a haunted house_ by _waywardgoose_ ) but jamie lee curtis is, like, the most iconic scream queen, right? + also I saw knives out before christmas and she was in it, she was so good and the movie was so good!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **porcupinequill:** wait
> 
>  **porcupinequill:** YOU AND BRUCE HAVE HAD SEX?
> 
>  **shrekbutstabby:** congratulations, you're officially the last person on the planet to know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! ive gotten shit done quicker than I expected this week so ive been able to write a new chapter! also I know I say this every single time I update, but SUNDAY NIGHT'S DOCTOR WHO???!!! it was so fucking good, the lone cyberman's design was so terrifying, and also I want jack to be in the finale, just so his first interaction with 13 can be like 'what did I tell you not to do?' 'give the lone cyberman what it wants' 'and what did you do?' 'gave the lone cyberman what it wanted'  
> also, Byron meeting 13 for like 2 seconds and then falling in love with her? the entire fandom can relate dude, youre not alone

**flirting 101**  
**members:**  
**porcupinequill** \- Peter Quill  
**shrekbutstabby** \- Gamora Thanosdottir  
**kicknamestakeass** \- Mantis Brandt  
**thedestroyer** \- Drax Douglas  
**strangerthings** \- Stephen Strange  
**stormlover** \- Thor Odinson  
[7:36 p.m.]

 **strangerthings:** im going to do it you guys

 **thedestroyer:** do what?

 **shrekbutstabby:** take a wild fucking guess, drax.

 **shrekbutstabby:** who has he been texting non-stop for a good two months? tony stark.

 **shrekbutstabby:** who has he not stopped talking about for a good two months? tony stark.

 **kicknamestakeass:** omg

 **kicknamestakeass:** youre going to do tony stark!!?

 **strangerthings:** no you dumb fuck im going to ask him out

 **strangerthings:** but if sex was in the equation i wouldn't say no

 **stormlover:** STEPHEN

 **strangerthings:** we're both of legal age stfu

 **strangerthings:** also we all know you and bruce have done it

 **porcupinequill:** wait

 **porcupinequill:** YOU AND BRUCE HAVE HAD SEX?

 **shrekbutstabby:** congratulations, you're officially the last person on the planet to know 

**shrekbutstabby:** even mantis knew that, peter. MANTIS.

 **kicknamestakeass:** bucky barnes told me :)

 **strangerthings:** enough sex talk im going to message him before i lose my nerve

\--------

 **Instagram Direct Messages**  
strangestephen -> tony.stark  
[7:41 p.m.]

 **strangestephen:** can i ask you for advice real quick

 **tony.stark:** go ahead!

 **strangestephen:** so i like this boy

 **strangestephen:** like a lot

 **tony.stark:** oh yeah? whats he like?

 **strangestephen:** hes really funny and smart and kind

 **strangestephen:** and hes so gorgeous

 **strangestephen:** weve been talking for a few months now and were really close

 **strangestephen:** i can tell him anything and i know he feels the same

 **tony.stark:** do you know if hes gay and has a crush?

 **strangestephen:** i know for sure hes gay but i dont know if he has a crush on anyone let alone me

 **tony.stark:** what sort of things does he like? then you can start a conversation like you normally would and drop crushes in somewhere

 **strangestephen:** well hes super nerdy and he loves science especially physics and engineering

 **tony.stark:** he sounds very cool

 **tony.stark:** whats his name? you know im a nosy bitch

 **strangestephen:** i cant really say his name

 **strangestephen:** i don't know what to do

 **tony.stark:** you should just go for it

 **tony.stark:** if hes as nice as you say then even if he rejects you i dont think its going to be awkward

 **strangestephen:** okay hes active on instagram so im going to ask him now

 **tony.stark:** good luck!

\--------

 **peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[7:47 p.m.]

********

**imthebest:** im going to destroy the entire planet and then myself

********

**tonysbabysitter:** whats happened tony?

********

**imthebest:** i missed my chance and now im going to go cry and then drown myself in my own tears brb 

********** **

**sciencegay:** tony you need to talk to us here

********** **

**tonysbabysitter:** yeah bruce is right

********** **

**tonysbabysitter:** tell us whats happened

********** **

**imthebest:** stephen likes somebody else

********** **

**futureceo:** do you know for sure though

********** **

**imthebest:** im sending you a screenshot of the messages he just sent me rn

********** **

**imthebest:** [ _themomentmysoulgotdestroyed.png_ ]

********** **

**imthebest:** [ _evenmorepain.png_ ]

********** **

**imthebest:** [ _brutalmurdercantbethispainful.png_ ]

********** **

**imthebest:** this guy sounds like such a catch as well

********** **

**imthebest:** so much better than me

********** **

**stressedbaby:** 'well hes super nerdy and he loves science especially physics and engineering' tony you absolute spoon i think hes talking about you

********** **

**sendingmetodespair:** and the reason he can't tell you his name is because it's you, idiot

********** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** tony you are the dumbest smart person ive ever met

********** **

**imthebest:** i just think its somebody we both know and thats why he cant say his name

********** **

**imthebest:** hang on hes just messaged me

********** **

\--------

********** **

**Instagram Direct Messages**  
strangestephen -> tony.stark  
[7:49 p.m.]  


************ ** **

**strangestephen:** tony

************ ** **

**tony.stark:** how did it go?

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** you know when i said i was going to text him

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** well im texting him right now

************ ** **

**tony.stark:** wait

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** yes dork i do mean you

************ ** **

**tony.stark:** WAIT

************ ** **

**tony.stark:** you like me

************ ** **

**tony.stark:** as in me tony stark

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** i thought maybe you saw it coming 

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** and i dont want to ruin our friendship but i really like you

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** and i have for the past month and a half

************ ** **

**tony.stark:** omg

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** is it bad?

************ ** **

**tony.stark:** no because i really really like you too

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** OH

************ ** **

**tony.stark:** and idk if youre not cool with labels but i would really like to be able to call you my boyfriend

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** OH

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** im good with labels

************ ** **

**strangestephen:** especially because its you

************ ** **

\--------

************ ** **

**flirting 101**  
**members:**  
**porcupinequill** \- Peter Quill  
**shrekbutstabby** \- Gamora Thanosdottir  
**kicknamestakeass** \- Mantis Brandt  
**thedestroyer** \- Drax Douglas  
**strangerthings** \- Stephen Strange  
**stormlover** \- Thor Odinson  
[7:54 p.m.]

************ ** **

**strangerthings:** SO I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW

************ ** **

**strangerthings:** A BOYFRIEND WHO IS TONY STARK

************ ** **

**procupinequill:** so im guessing the conversation went well then

************ ** **

**strangerthings:** tony stark is my boyfriend

************ ** **

**strangerthings:** im going to PASS OUT

************ ** **

\--------

************ ** **

**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[7:56 p.m.]

************ ** **

**imthebest:** guess who is no longer single bitches ;)))))

************ ** **

**sciencegay:** i knew we were right

************ ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** sis we been knew

************ ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** tony you owe us all 10 quid each

************ ** **

**futureceo:** dont you dare ruin his happiness shuri udaku

************ ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** hes ruining our happiness by not giving us this money

************ ** **

**imthebest:** stfu shuri :))))))

************ ** **

**imthebest:** is it possible to die of happiness

************ ** **

**sendingmetodespair:** youre going to be one of those couples who practically have sex in the school corridor, aren't you

************ ** **

**imthebest:** if i have anything to do with it we will :)))))))

************ ** **

\--------

************ ** **

**a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[4:29 p.m.]

************ ** **

**princessmerida:** i knew we were losing our touch when we didnt know that ava starr was joining the school but we are OFFICIALLY no longer the local hot spies of the school

************ ** **

**natherat:** what have we missed now??

************ ** **

**princessmerida:** ava starr and wanda maximoff got together

************ ** **

**princessmerida:** and tony stark and stephen strange are seeing now too

************ ** **

**princessmerida:** AND WE DIDNT KNOW THE SECOND IT HAPPENED

************ ** **

**princessmerida:** i only found out because mantis brandt told bucky about stephen and HIM and bucky told me

************ ** **

**princessmerida:** and i only found out about wanda and ava because they were basically having sex in english lit and sam told me

************ ** **

**birbboi:** im forever scarred tbh i need to see a therapist and i think that mr fury does too

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** wait

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** tonys seeing someone else?

************ ** **

**bucketbornes:** im sorry stevie

************ ** **

**bucketbornes:** i know how much you still like him

************ ** **

**princessmerida:** you shouldnt still like him he is the most entitled little bitch ever

************ ** **

**princessmerida:** nat weve lost our touch because youre obsessing over miss luxurious ass dont even try to deny it

************ ** **

**bucketbornes:** stevie you gotta tell her

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** no i dont

************ ** **

**bucketbornes:** yes you do stevie

************ ** **

**bucketbornes:** i think clint will gouge your eyes out if you dont

************ ** **

**princessmerida:** oh what dont i know NOW

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** FINE

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** nat can you text me privately for a second

************ ** **

\--------

************ ** **

**owners of marvel highs best thighs**  
**members:**  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[4:34 p.m.]

************ ** **

**natherat:** whats up steve?

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** so you know that girl you liked at costa

************ ** **

**natherat:** yeah...

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** so i may know who she is and the best ways to get a date with her

************ ** **

**natherat:** and you didnt think to tell me this before because? 

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** …

************ ** **

**natherat:** you dont have an answer for that do you

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** not really

************ ** **

**natherat:** yeah i didnt think so

************ ** **

**natherat:** and bucky knows about this doesnt he

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** maybe?

************ ** **

**natherat:** how long have you known who she is?

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** since about the first time you mentioned her

************ ** **

**natherat:** i cant believe this steve

************ ** **

**natherat:** you know how much i like her and you could have helped me get a date with her for like THREE MONTHS and you didnt

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** nat im sorry

************ ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** ill help you get a date with her now

************ ** **

**natherat:** dont fucking bother

************ ** **

**natherat:** ill ask bucky instead

************ ** **

**natherat:** at least he had the decency to encourage you to tell me

************ ** **

_**natherat** has removed **watchyourlanguage** from the chat_

************ ** **

_**natherat** has blocked **watchyourlanguage**_

************ ** **

_**nathereat** has left the chat_

************ ** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also fun fact, the way that stephen asks tony out is actually a way that I once got asked out and I thought it was cute af so im using it!! also tony's reaction was basically the same as mine so i hope you enjoyed it lol  
> also steve finally told nat!! im sorry about their groupchat name btw, i couldn't think of anything funny and that just popped into my head


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **screamqueenstan:** wands, youre amazing and so pretty and i love you
> 
>  **screamqueenstan:** but i would absolutely let the 13th doctor sonic me
> 
>  **areyoushuribothat:** ~sonic~ ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, as you can see I am not dead! tbh, my mental health has been a bit not good recently and, even though the corona virus outbreak is not helping my anxiety issues, things are starting to get a little better for me so I am finally motivated to post again! also, schools across the uk are closed and gcse exams got cancelled so ive officially left school now! im a bit sad obv because I had to say goodbye to my friends who are not going to the same college as me and also say goodbye to my teachers really abruptly. luckily my prom is hopefully only being postponed not cancelled so im happy about that (I bought my dress in February and its so pretty!!) I also bought the latest animal crossing game (which could not have been released with better timing) the other day because ive been saving for it and I wanted to buy it asap in case non essential shops closed which was a _good_ call and its so cute and relaxing I love it so much!  
> also hopefully I will be able to upload again soon, I do have online classes but I dont have to revise in the evenings so I can write instead :DDD

**karate kids**  
**members:**  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
[8:28 a.m.]

 **natherat:** so barnacle

 **natherat:** im going to overlook you not telling me about how to get a date with the love of my life

 **bucketbornes:** when you put it like that it sounds pretty bad

 **bucketbornes:** im sorry natasha

 **natherat:** you didnt me finish

 **natherat:** im going to overlook you not telling me about how to get a date with the love of my life

 **natherat:** a) because you did try to talk steve into telling me

 **natherat:** b) because i need someone to tell me how to get a date with her and im not asking steve

 **natherat:** so would you like to redeem yourself or shall i remove your organs one by one

\--------

 **peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[4:06 p.m.]

 **imthebest:** HELP

 **tonysbabysitter:** shit tones is everything ok???!

 **imthebest:** NO

 **stressedbaby:** HOLY SHIT THERE WERE CYBERMEN IN THAT TRAILER

 **tonysbabysitter:** oh so youre not imminently going to die

 **tonysbabysitter:** something doctor who related happened didn't it

 **sciencegay:** THERE WERE JUDOON

 **stressedbaby:** JUDOON PLATOON IS ON THE MOON?!!

 **imthebest:** MAHO

 **imthebest:** PLATYPUS THEY DROPPED THE SERIES 12 TRAILER

 **imthebest:** PETE AND I SCREAMED

 **stressedbaby:** BRUCE IS CRYING

 **sciencegay:** dont judge me it looks SO GOOD

 **sciencegay:** i think that thor is a bit concerned though because i saw the trailer when we were on facetime and i started to freak out

\--------

 **keeping up with the odinsons**  
**members:**  
**deathkink** \- Hela Odinson  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
**stormlover** \- Thor Odinson  
[4:08 p.m.]

********** **

**stormlover:** i need help

********** **

**deathkink:** pfft and youre coming to us?

********** **

**deathkink:** dumbass

********** **

**lokiamood:** omg hela shut UP i want the TEA

********** **

**lokiamood:** whats the tea brother

********** **

**stormlover:** bruce is crying

********** **

**stormlover:** is he going to break up with me?

********** **

**deathkink:** cant believe youre asking ME, the resident 'allergic to affection and relationships' sibling for help

********** **

**lokiamood:** why are you texting us and not hugging and reassuring him

********** **

**lokiamood:** hes not hela

********** **

**stormlover:** we are on video chat and he just started freaking out!

********** **

**stormlover:** i thought we were having a nice conversation

********** **

**lokiamood:** aw thor you oblivious little bean

********** **

_**lokiamood** changed **stormlover's** username to **literalgoldenretriever**_

******__** ** **

**deathkink:** lol good luck sorting that out brother

******__** ** **

**literalgoldenretriever:** nvm the doctor who series 12 trailer came out earlier and hes kind of a big fan

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** crisis resolved

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** apocalypse averted

******__** ** **

**deathkink:** ...

******__** ** **

\--------

******__** ** **

**'we're calling our chat the antfam and THAT is the tea'**  
**members:**  
**ansty** \- Scott Lang  
**hopeingfordeath** \- Hope Van Dyne  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**screamqueenstan** \- Ava Starr  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
[4:11 p.m.]

******__** ** **

**screamqueenstan:** wands, youre amazing and so pretty and i love you

******__** ** **

**screamqueenstan:** but i would absolutely let the 13th doctor sonic me

******__** ** **

**areyoushuribothat:** ~sonic~ ;)

******__** ** **

**stressedbaby:** me reading avas first message - awww, cutest couple ever

******__** ** **

**stressedbaby:** me reading avas second message - how do i bleach my eyes and/or my brain

******__** ** **

**witchbitch:** dont worry babe, i would let her sonic me too

******__** ** **

**hopeingfordeath:** clearly female scientists are your type

******__** ** **

**witchbitch:** look, im a simple person

******__** ** **

**witchbitch:** i see a beautiful, smart, strong woman and i wanna tap that

******__** ** **

**antsy:** wanda for someone who doesnt like horror films, you havent picked the most chill show to watch

******__** ** **

**antsy:** it would be like the great movie night disaster of march 2018 but EVERY week

******__** ** **

**screamqueenstan:** great movie night disaster of march 2018??

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** oh this is going to be good

******__** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** why are you only active when teas about to go down

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** what can i say

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** im a slut for the drama

******__** ** **

**witchbitch:** my threat of killing hope with a spoon wasnt only reserved for hope scott lang

******__** ** **

**screamqueenstan:** scott

******__** ** **

**screamqueenstan:** my love, my life, the apple of my eye

******__** ** **

**screamqueenstan:** tell me what happened or I'LL kill you with a spoon

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** look youll never find out what happened at this rate so ill tell you shall i

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** we were all over hope's for a sleepover and we decided to have a horror movie marathon

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** and it somehow slipped wandas mind to tell us that shes not the biggest fan of horror movies

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** she got freaked out during one of the jumpscares

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** she jumped up in surprise

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** tripped over the leg of hope's bed

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** and crashed into the door

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** she took it right off the hinges and almost crushed hope's dad in the process

******__** ** **

**antsy:** at the time it was traumatising

******__** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** peter thought she was dead and started crying because hes pure

******__** ** **

**antsy:** plus hopes dad is a SCARY man

******__** ** **

**witchbitch:** i just want to add that the door was already loose on its hinges and would probably have broken soon anyway

******__** ** **

**witchbitch:** i just,,, helped it along the way

******__** ** **

**lokiamood:** notice how she didnt threaten to kill me with a spoon

******__** ** **

**witchbitch:** no

******__** ** **

**witchbitch:** ill curse you for eternity instead

******__** ** **

\--------

******__** ** **

**tILL tHe eND oF tHe LinE <3**  
**members:**  
**bucketbarnes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
[5:34 p.m.]

******__** ** **

**bucketbarnes:** stevie i need this sharon girls number

******__** ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** w h y

******__** ** **

**bucketbarnes:** for tasha you dumbass

******__** ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** why should i

******__** ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** shes never gonna forgive me anyway buck

******__** ** **

**bucketbarnes:** well she might if she gets sharons number

******__** ** **

**bucketbarnes:** nats smart so shell know i got it off you

******__** ** **

**bucketbarnes:** so stop wallowing and being petty and give me her fucking number

******__** ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** ...

******__** ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** yes sir

******__** ** **

**bucketbarnes:** thats more like it

******__** ** **

**bucketbarnes:** thank you stevie

******__** ** **

\--------

******__** ** **

**untitled chat**  
**members:**  
**bucketbarnes -** James Barnes  
**bigdickenergy -** Sharon Carter  
[5:38 p.m.]

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** hi is this sharon carter

******__** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** it depends if youre a creep or not

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** no im bucky

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** steves friend

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** he gave me your number

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** so are you sharon carter or is steve pettier than i thought

******__** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** can i call you bonky

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** i suppose

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** just dont tell my boyfriend or hell never stop using that nickname

******__** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** then yes, i am sharon carter

******__** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** so bonky

******__** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** steves told me a lot about you

******__** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** but why did you need my number

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** so my friend nat was in costa the other month

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** and she liked you

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** like REALLY liked you

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** so im trying to get her a date with you

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** nats really pretty and she enjoys giving us lectures about why gender stereotypes are bad and shes freakishly good at judo

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** so please say yes

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** [ _natasha.jpg_ ]

******__** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** well i have a very busy schedule but i could work in some free time

******__** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** im texting her first to see if i like her though

******__** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** so whats her number?

******__** ** **

\--------

******__** ** **

**karate kids**  
**members:**  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
[5:42 p.m.]

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** so stevie got me sharons number

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** she said shell text you asap

******__** ** **

**natherat:** fuck what do i do

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** forgive steve maybe?

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** because hes been moping around looking like someone just told him hes dying tomorrow

******__** ** **

**natherat:** i suppose i could think about it

******__** ** **

**bucketbornes:** yay!! thanks tasha

******__** ** **

**natherat:** or i could continue plotting how to kill him

******__** ** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ew i really hate that ending but i wanted to save nat and sharon talking for next chapter soooo and I also kind of really hate the start but I needed some extra fluff and tony, peter and bruce would absolutely be doctor who nerds tyvm  
> ok i had a note all prepared with all my theories on the series finale of doctor who but its a bit late to post it now so im going to tell you all bout my fav shows atm because we all need something new to binge rn  
> so *deep breath* you should watch **killing eve** \- bbc iplayer(quite bloodthirsty so check the warnings!! amazing and addictive tho), **the end of the f***ing world** \- series1 is on Netflix but series2 is only on all4 as far as i know(bloodthirsty sometimes same as killing eve so pls check the warnings!! addictive af though), **doctor who** \- Netflix/bbc iplayer(amazing, funny, you're MISSING OUT if you dont watch it), **gavin &stacey** \- bbc iplayer, series2+ are on Netflix though(so funny, ive binged it at least 3 times and i still laugh each time), **torchwood** \- bbc iplayer(only seen the first couple but its a new fav of mine, doctor who spinoff so maybe watch doctor who first), **death in paradise** \- Netflix(bloodthirsty at times so check the warnings, the jokes are so funny and i love the characters! good if you need something to think about even though i can NEVER solve the murder), **voltron** (again only seen the first few eps but its so pure, i love the characters especially pidge, lance and hunk!!), **good omens** -amazon prime, I watched it when it was shown on bbc but its not available on iplayer(so funny!! also I just started the book its based off and its just as funny as the series) + finally **sherlock** \- bbc iplayer/Netflix(sooooo addictive, only seen the first few so far but the characters are so good already!!good if you need something to think about)  
> my notes were long this chapter so if you read my ramblings well done, thank you, you deserve a medal


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **stressedbaby:** why does everyone shit on pears in animal crossing tho they are so cute >:(
> 
> **screamqueenstan:** peters asking the real questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't make you wait for a month for the next chapter!! its been like two weeks though, considering ive been in lockdown ive been pretty busy! I made disney princess cupcakes for my little sister(I was cleaning out our cupboards and found the kit lol), also I caved and downloaded tiktok and im really obsessed, I need help :0

**'we're calling our chat the antfam and THAT is the tea'**  
**members:**  
**ansty** \- Scott Lang  
**hopeingfordeath** \- Hope Van Dyne  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**screamqueenstan** \- Ava Starr  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
[2:19 a.m.]

**screamqueenstan:** girls dont want boys girls want peaches as their native fruit on animal crossing

**antsy:** but ava youre a lesbian

**antsy:** you dont want boys full stop

**screamqueenstan:** let me rephrase that

**screamqueenstan:** lesbians dont want girls lesbians want peaches as their native fruit on animal crossing

**areyoushuribouthat:** most gays at 2 am - i YEARN to be with my lover in a cute cottage in the woods

**areyoushuribouthat:** ava at 3am - i YEARN for peaches on animal crossing

**screamqueenstan:** well i dont need to yearn for a cottage in the woods with wanda because i built one on animal crossing new leaf

**witchbitch:** aww babe!!

**witchbitch:** does it have a froggy chair in the living room tho

**screamqueen:** dont worry wands i gotchu 

**screamqueenstan:** theres 2 so we can match

**witchbitch:** ava open your town gates so we can go sit on the froggy chairs

**screamqueenstan:** only if you bring bamboo shoots

**witchbitch:** ive been hoarding them just for u pls open your gates

**stressedbaby:** why does everyone shit on pears in animal crossing tho they are so cute >:(

**screamqueenstan:** peters asking the real questions

\--------

**untitled chat**  
**members:**  
**bigdickenergy** \- Sharon Carter  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[2:34 a.m.]

**bigdickenergy:** you might not be awake but hi is this natasha romanoff?

**natherat:** bold of you to assume i need to sleep

**natherat:** but yes, i am natasha romanoff

**bigdickenergy:** hi im sharon carter

_**natherat** has read **bigdickenergy's** message_

\--------

**a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[2:36 a.m.]

**natherat:** james buchanan barnes you are the love of my life pls marry me

**birbboi:** hands off my man romanoff >:(

**bucketbornes:** uwu

**bucketbornes:** also youre welcome nat!

**bucketbornes:** steve helped tho

**natherat:** FUCK steve

**birbboi:** dont be mean nat hes in this chat

**bucketbornes:** nat say thank you to steve

**natherat:** no

**bucketbornes:** pls

**bucketbornes:** as you love me so much

**natherat:** thank you steve

**bucketbornes:** now steve stop lurking and say youre welcome

**watchyourlanguage:** youre welcome nat

**natherat:** natasha to you

**watchyourlanguage:** youre welcome natasha

**bucketbornes:** nat that was petty

_**natherat** has read **bucketbornes's** message_

**bucketbornes:** nat

**natherat:** sorry steve

**princessmerida:** you have just achieved in five seconds what i have been trying to achieve for about 10 years

**princessmerida:** barnes whats your secret

**bucketbornes:** the bucky barnes death glare

**natherat:** its true

**natherat:** i can feel it from like 4 streets away

**natherat:** youd be a good assassin with that glare bucky

**bucketbornes:** i once made loki odinson apologise to mantis brandt with my glare

**bucketbornes:** nat what are you waiting for?

**bucketbornes:** go flirt with miss luxurious ass

\--------

**************** ** ** ** **

**untitled chat**  
**members:**  
**bigdickenergy** \- Sharon Carter  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[2:41 a.m.]

**************** ** ** ** **

**natherat:** sorry about that my friend texted me

**************** ** ** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** its fine

**************** ** ** ** **

**natherat:** if were going to text then we need a good chat name

**************** ** ** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** haha yes, me and my friend have the best chat name

**************** ** ** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** we need to beat it

**************** ** ** ** **

**natherat:** steve tells me youre good at fighting so we have no problem there

**************** ** ** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** steve tells me the same about you,,, charlies angels really do be looking good

**************** ** ** ** **

_**natherat** named the chat **charlie's angels**_

**************** ** ** ** **

**bigdickenergy:** talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular

**************** ** ** ** **

\--------

**************** ** ** ** **

**owners of marvel highs best thighs**  
**members:**  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[2:52 a.m.]

**************** ** ** ** **

**natherat:** thanks for telling sharon that im good at fighting

**************** ** ** ** **

**watchyourlanguage:** thats ok nat :)

**************** ** ** ** **

**natherat:** im still mad at you though dont go getting your hopes up

**************** ** ** ** **

\--------

**************** ** ** ** **

**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[8:43 a.m.]

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** why is steve rogers walking round looking like a kicked puppy?

**************** ** ** ** **

**sendingmetodespair:** i don't know but i know he deserves it

**************** ** ** ** **

**imthebest:** nebula!

**************** ** ** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** some of us want to know the tea nebs

**************** ** ** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** peter, youre baby and everyone loves you so go get the tea

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** actually steve and his friends dont like me

**************** ** ** ** **

**sendingmetodespair:** i always told you guys that they had bad taste

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** awww nebs that is the sweetest thing youve ever said to me <3 uwu

**************** ** ** ** **

**sciencegay:** well i might be able to help with 'getting the tea'

**************** ** ** ** **

**sciencegay:** thor is friends with mantis brandt who is close friends with bucky barnes

**************** ** ** ** **

**sciencegay:** so he will probably tell her everything in their shared class

**************** ** ** ** **

**sciencegay:** and then mantis will tell thor who will tell me and boom tea 

**************** ** ** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** which is?

**************** ** ** ** **

**sciencegay:** chemistry. 4th lesson

**************** ** ** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** fuck we have to wait for HOURS to find out the tea? disgusting

**************** ** ** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** peter you share lesson 1 with natasha romanoff and clint barton right? look innocent af and listen into their conversation

**************** ** ** ** **

**tonysbabysitter:** suddenly i understand why youre such good friends with loki odinson

**************** ** ** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** what can i say

**************** ** ** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** lokis a slut for drama

**************** ** ** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** im a slut for drama

**************** ** ** ** **

**sciencegay:** i concur

**************** ** ** ** **

\--------

**************** ** ** ** **

**flirting 101**  
**members:**  
**porcupinequill** \- Peter Quill  
**shrekbutstabby** \- Gamora Thanosdottir  
**kicknamestakeass** \- Mantis Brandt  
**thedestroyer** \- Drax Douglas  
**strangerthings** \- Stephen Strange  
**stormlover** \- Thor Odinson  
[11:03 a.m.]

**************** ** ** ** **

**porcupinequill:** hey stephen you should add tony to the chat

**************** ** ** ** **

**strangerthings:** no i dont wanna scare him away

**************** ** ** ** **

**strangerthings:** also arent you meant to be in lesson

**************** ** ** ** **

**porcupinequill:** a) youre texting in class too

**************** ** ** ** **

**porcupinequill:** b) dont worry mr harrington wont notice because im amazing

**************** ** ** ** **

**shrekbutstabby:** thats not a valid excuse.

**************** ** ** ** **

**shrekbutstabby:** i will hunt you down mr quill

**************** ** ** ** **

**porcupinequill:** suddenly i have to go

**************** ** ** ** **

\--------

**************** ** ** ** **

**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[11:27 a.m.]

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** cowards

**************** ** ** ** **

**futureceo:** im sorry what

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** ladies and gentlemen is unnecessarily gendered, way too formal and tbh im falling asleep already

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** cowards however is inclusive to all genders, to the point and dramatic

**************** ** ** ** **

**areyoushuribouthat:** ok king but did you actually get the tea

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** yes maam

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** ok so

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** steve and natasha had a fight

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** and clint didnt actually SAY that they all agreed with natasha but he heavily implied that they all agreed with natasha

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** basically natasha likes someone

**************** ** ** ** **

**stressedbaby:** and steve could have got the girls number for natasha but he didnt and decided to pretend he didnt know the girl when he does

**************** ** ** ** **

**sciencegay:** holy shit will he never learn

**************** ** ** ** **

**tonysbabysitter:** does somebody need to actually sit him down and say 'when you know something important involving a person you NEED to tell them'

**************** ** ** ** **

**sendingmetodespair:** apparently so

**************** ** ** ** **

**sendingmetodespair:** and theyre all siding with natasha but when steve did this to tony they all sided with steve? hyprocrites

**************** ** ** ** **

**areyoushuribothat:** say it louder for the people in the back queen

**************** ** ** ** **

**imthebest:** the only thing that im surprised about is that peter could be so sneaky

**************** ** ** ** **

**imthebest:** our babys growing up :,)

**************** ** ** ** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'charlies angels' is probably the most boring chat name ive come up with in this ENTIRE fic, but I genuinely couldn't think of anything else :(((  
> also yayyy we finally find out a lil bit of what went down between steve and tony!! it only took me 8 chapters :DDD (it takes me so long to write conflict yet I am so shit at writing slowburn D: I love to read slow burn but im so bad at writing it lol)  
> also that part when peter is like 'cowards!' is based on tumblr posts that ive seen, idk the person who originally came up with it but ive seen that quip several times and i just love it  
> also again i dont really like the end D: i cant decide if its super cringe or not and its bothering me


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **literalgoldenretriever:** why is loki screaming while doing a pushup
> 
>  **deathkink:** they want to get their hot girl summer body
> 
>  **literalgoldenretriever:** but its january
> 
>  **deathkink:** im aware

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im really sorry it has as usual been like two months since I last updated this fic - my new college has sent out some work that we would have been doing in our transition sessions - but ive planned out the next couple of chapter so updates should be relatively quick hopefully! im not too sure how long this fic will be, probably around 20-30 chapters to cover the whole school year!! this is the longest fic ive written (and ive been writing fanfiction for about 2 and a half years now, wow :0) so im excited to complete it :D

**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[9:08 a.m.]

 **sciencegay:** boom boom boom let me hear you say wayo

 **stressedbaby:** wayo

 **areyoushuribouthat:** wayo

 **sendingmetodespiar:** no

 **imthebest:** wayo

 **futureceo:** wayo

 **tonysbabysitter:** wayo

 **tonysbabysitter:** bruce wtf are you currently not mentally stable

 **sciencegay:** what gave you the idea that I was ever mentally stable

 **areyoushuribouthat:** aww rhodey look at you being the mum friend of the group

 **tonysbabysitter:** without me this you would all descend into madness dont tell me that wouldnt happen

 **tonysbabysitter:** so bruce you are not mentally stable

 **tonysbabysitter:** why

 **sciencegay:** 3 words

 **sciengay:** valentines day gifts

 **sendingmetodespair:** every fucking year.

 **sendingmetodespair:** you could probably give thor a literal bin and he'd love it because you gave it to him!

 **areyoushuribouthat:** rt

 **stressedbaby:** rt

 **futureceo:** rt

 **tonysbabysitter:** rt

 **sciencegay:** what do i give him though

 **sciencegay:** because lokis giving me the idea that thors made me a super cute present

 **sciencegay:** how do i compete with god of presents thor

 **futureceo:** hes also god of lesbians dont forget

 **areyoushuribouthat:** weve already established that loki is the biggest slut for drama

 **areyoushuribouthat:** if they see an opportunity to make someone overthink they will take it

 **imthebest:** dont even get me started on valentines day gifts

 **imthebest:** what do i get stephen

 **imthebest:** would i make it awkward if i got him something big

 **areyoushuribouthat:** why are you even considering this yet?

 **areyoushuribouthat:** its january. weve only just had christmas!

 **sciencegay:** weve got to get a move on or all the good stuff will have gone

 **sendingmetodespair:** stephen likes biology right?

 **sendingmetodespair:** get him an organ.

\--------

 **'we're calling our chat the antfam and THAT is the tea'**  
**members:**  
**ansty** \- Scott Lang  
**hopeingfordeath** \- Hope Van Dyne  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**screamqueenstan** \- Ava Starr  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
[4:06 p.m.]

 **lokiamood:** im going to do it

 **antsy:** do what?

 **hopeingfordeath:** get a proper sleep schedule?

 **screamqueenstan:** curse your siblings?

 **witchbitch:** get your eyeliner done without taking four hours to make your wings exactly identical?

 **lokiamood:** what is this, a personal attack?

 **areyoushuriboithat:** did you expect anything less

 **stressedbaby:** what r you going to do loki?

 **lokiamood:** come out

 **witchbitch:** out of your cage and you've been doing just fine?

 **lokiamood:** come out as nonbinary

 **lokiamood:** i know im out to you all and to my siblings but im kind upset about always being misgendered by the other people at school

 **stressedbaby:** yay we support u!!!!!

 **screamqueenstan:** how are you going to come out?

 **lokiamood:** just post a picture on instagram and put my pronouns in my bio

 **antsy:** yay!!!

 **lokiamood:** im nervous

 **witchbitch:** its ok were here for you

 **lokiamood:** im going to do it

 **stressedbaby:** im cheering for u

 **lokiamood:** i did it

 **screamqueenstan:** yay yay and yay again!!!

 **hopeingfordeath:** my child were so proud

 **areyoushuribouthat:** dont thin ive ever texted this or said it out loud

 **areyoushuribouthat:** but i love you dumbass

 **areyoushuribouthat:** <3

\--------

 **a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[4:32 p.m.]

 **natherat:** omg omg omg

 **natherat:** there is a god

 **natherat:** her name is sharon carter

 **natherat:** and she has blessed me

 **birbboi:** that sounds,,, odd

 **natherat:** she asked me on a DATE

 **natherat:** on VALENTINES DAY

 **bucketbornes:** natasha!!!!!

 **princessmerida:** how did she ask you

 **princessmerida:** was it really romantic

 **birbboi:** didn't you once promise a girl a really romantic date and take her to see the sonic the hedgehog movie

 **princessmerida:** sonic is cool okay

 **princessmerida:** and we enjoyed it

 **birbboi:** im just saying

 **birbboi:** your idea of romance is not really what i would call traditionally romantic

 **princessmerida:** anyway nat was it romantic

 **natherat:** she texted me saying

 **natherat:** hey loser i like you, want to go out on valentines day?

 **natherat:** and obviously i texted back

 **natherat:** ofc dumbass ive only been waiting for months

 **natherat:** idk where shes taking me though she wants to surprise me

 **birbboi:** surprise dates are so cute i love them

 **bucketbornes:** is that a dig at my date planning skills samuel thomas wilson

 **birbboi:** no you plan good dates but whenever you try to surprise me you literally clam up because youre so worried youre going to spoil it

 **birbboi:** its cute

 **princessmerida:** how come this chat is just sam and bucky being cute all of a sudden

 **natherat:** sambucky rights i said what i said

 **natherat:** anyway steve

 **natherat:** thanks i guess

 **bucketbornes:** is this the closest were going to get to you and steve making up

 **natherat:** yes

 **natherat:** im still mad at you steve

 **natherat:** but maybe we could make it less awkward for the others

 **princessmerida:** why is this chat getting all about emotions

 **princessmerida:** i miss the days where sam would yell at bucky for feeding his cookies to alpine

 **birbboi:** rt

\--------

 **keeping up with the odinsons**  
**members:**  
**deathkink** \- Hela Odinson  
**lokiamood** \- Loki Odinson  
**literalgoldenretriever** \- Thor Odinson  
[5:09 p.m.]

 **literalgoldenretriever:** why is loki screaming while doing a pushup

 **deathkink:** they want to get their hot girl summer body

 **literalgoldenretriever:** but its january

 **deathkink:** im aware

 **deathkink:** im going to set their curtains on fire

 **literalgoldenretriever:** omg hela dont

 **literalgoldenretriever:** thats a BAD idea

 **deathkink:** that text cant stop me because i cant read!!

 **literalgoldenretriever:** helaaaaaa

_**deathkink** has read **literalgoldenretriever's** message_

**lokiamood:** hela you did NOt just set my curtains on fire

 **literalgoldenretriever:** why are you always like this

 **literalgoldenretriever:** i cant wait to move in with bruce

 **lokiamood:** you love us really brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps happy pride month (my fellow LGBTQ+ people, you're all amazing and incredible dont let anyone tell you otherwise<3333) !! I was going to be doing a kind of pride themed chapter as the next chapter, but as its almost the end of pride month I worked it into this chapter instead(I was planning on having a whole section where loki came out, because I think that they would be closeted except for their friends and their siblings, so I added it into this chapter instead!), so instead of Stephen finding out what went down with steve and tony, which I was going to do in this chapter, so that will either be the next chapter or the chapter after that!  
> also unrelated but I rewatched the avengers the other day and ive never had shawarma before so I googled it and it looked sO good so I made some for my tea and it does not disappoint, I recommend!!  
> 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **imthebest:** you can judge but loving all of the doctors regenerations equally is bi culture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand its been a month again, im so sorry! (but lets be honest probably nobody is surprised that i took this long to update at this point) anyway, cue me rambling about literally anything that comes into my head for the rest of the note, im sorry if you actually want to get to the chapter and have to spend 10 hours scrolling through my ramble!  
> anyway shang chi has started filming again - yayyyyyy! and also like all the marvel youtube channel that i watch are pretty confident that we will be getting an eternals trailer, a fatws trailer or a wandavision trailer (all 3?! i would cry) soon so i am very hopeful as i am so starved of mcu content D:  
> anyways hope you enjoy + also **spoilers for the doctor who episode spyfall part 1!**

**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**stressedbaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[12:34 p.m.]

 **stressedbaby:** it is doctor who day and i am so excited i might cry

 **sendingmetodespair:** you crying is not unusual. you cry over puppies

 **stressedbaby:** theyre so little and cute and fluffy and have such cute tiny woofs!!!!

_**areyoushuribouthat** changed **stressedbaby's** username to **crybaby**_

**crybaby:** yeah thats right i break toxic masculinity stereotypes everytime i shed a tear

 **areyoushuribouthat:** king shit <3

 **crybaby:** in all seriousness though i might actually cry im so exicted

 **crybaby:** i dont want to wait for the whole afternoon

 **imthebest:** he wont settle down and do anything

 **crybaby:** how can i concentrate on anything when in a mere 6 hours and 21 minutes the ICON that is bradley walsh as graham will be back on our screens

 **crybaby:** and the doctor too

 **crybaby:** but graham is my fav

 **futureceo:** are you guys going to spam the groupchat with doctor who stuff again this series?

 **sciencegay:** of course who do you think we are

 **tonysbabysitter:** i am literally begging you to make a second groupchat for your doctor who spam

 **imthebest:** platypus that is the best idea you have EVER had

 **imthebest:** im going to make it now

 **tonysbabysitter:** thank fuck

 **imthebest:** wow love u too

 **tonysbabysitter:** <3

\--------

 **doctor who watch party!**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**crybaby** \- Peter Parker  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[12:41 p.m.]

 **sciencegay:** you couldnt think of a better name than 'doctor who watch party'

 **imthebest:** would you rather have been called 'sonic me doctor'

 **sciencegay:** you know what lets keep the chat name as 'doctor who watch party'

 **imthebest:** you can judge but loving all of the doctors regenerations equally is bi culture

 **crybaby:** rt

 **sciencegay:** should we add anyone else?

 **imthebest:** im adding stephen but pinky promise you wont scare him away

 **crybaby:** pinky promise

 **imthebest:** bruce i find it concerning that you havent pinky promised

 **sciencegay:** last time i checked i wasnt five

 **imthebest:** brucie you have to pinky promise

 **sciencegay:** ive pinky promised in my head

 **imthebest:** peter send him a picture of you doing puppy dog eyes

 **crybaby:** [ _puppydogeyes.jpg_ ]

 **sciencegay:** fine i pinky promise

_**imthebest** has added **strangerthings** to the chat_

**strangerthings:** i am confusion

 **imthebest:** all of our other friends think us spamming the groupchat with doctor who stuff is annoying so we made this chat and thought of you

 **imthebest:** also do you know anyone else we can add  


**crybaby:** i do

_**crybaby** has added **screamqueenstan** and **witchbitch** to the chat_

**crybaby:** wanda and ava if you post about wanting the 13th doctor to sonic you im getting tony to kick you off

 **crybaby:** now that i have warned you two, guys meet wanda and ava

 **crybaby:** wanda and ava meet bruce tony and stephen

 **screamqueenstan:** this chat was originally going to be called 'sonic me doctor'? wanda we have found our people

\--------

 **what happens in budapest stays in budapest**  
**members:**  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
[9:34 a.m.]

 **natherat:** i swear mr fury keeps tabs on all the ~drama~ going on in this school so he can pair us with people were pissed at

 **princessmerida:** me as a teacher tbh

 **princessmerida:** its not a big deal nat

 **natherat:** hes only gone and paired me with STEVE for this stupid project

 **princessmerida:** thought you two had made up now

 **natherat:** agreeing to be nice in front of other people isnt the same thing as making up clint

 **natherat:** hes going to give me the 'sad steve rogers puppy dog eyes' and boom i will melt and we will be best friends

 **natherat:** and youll have to find a new best friend

 **princessmerida:** nat you are strong

 **princessmerida:** remember that time in year 9 when you beat that year 10 who was eyeing you up in a fight?

 **princessmerida:** you can survive a couple of weeks of steves puppy dog eyes

\--------

 **tILL tHe eND oF tHe LinE <3**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
[9:36 a.m.]

 **watchyourlanguage:** i take back every bad thing i have ever said about mr fury

 **watchyourlanguage:** i love mr fury

 **bucketbornes:** nat is probably going to kill you during this project you know that right

 **watchyourlanguage:** this is my chance to prove to her that im actually sorry 

**bucketbornes:** if you can achieve that without getting your head bitten off i salute you

\--------

 **doctor who watch party!**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**crybaby** \- Peter Parker  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
**strangerthings** \- Stephen Strange  
**screamqueenstan** \- Ava Starr  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
[6:54 p.m.]

 **imthebest:** a minute to go bitches

 **witchbitch:** 13 stans rise UP

 **screamqueenstan:** lets go lesbians!!!!

 **crybaby:** silence from the audience it is STARTING

 **sciencegay:** say what you will but her theme song is EXCELLENT

 **strangerthings:** like 5 minutes in and theyve already nearly died

 **screamqueenstan:** they better not kill off any of the companions or i will never recover

 **imthebest:** if they killed off graham peter would probably stop watching

 **witchbitch:** if they kill off yaz before thasmin can happen then i will stop watching

 **witchbitch:** i mean they will probably never make thasmin a thing but I CAN HOPE

 **sciencegay:** omg c just died

 **crybaby:** why are so many people dying we are only 15 minutes in?!!!

 **sciencegay:** they are not holding back today people

 **screamqueenstan:** o is going to be evil i called it

 **witchbitchstan:** how could u say that babe hes just trying to help

 **screamqueenstan:** its based on spy movies at least one nice person will turn out to be a bad guy

 **strangerthings:** watch it secretly be graham

 **strangerthings:** the evil mastermind behind it all

 **crybaby:** HOW DARE U

 **crybaby:** graham is a pure old man

 **imthebest:** we all know you just love bradley walsh

 **crybaby:** have you SEEN him on the chase?

 **crybaby:** the man is a national treasure

 **sciencegay:** ok we are in like,,, the finale

 **sciencegay:** if theyre going to spring a surprise death on us it will be now

 **sciencegay:** hold onto your horses people

 **witchbitch:** o why are you being weird

 **witchbitch:** you are meant to be nice and sweet and will eventually join the team

 **imthebest:** FLYING HOUSE WTF IS HAPPENIGGGGG

 **imthebest:** BITCH IS THAT A TARDIS

 **strangerthings:** i

 **strangerthings:** is this what i think it is

 **screamqueenstan:** MASTERRRRRRRR

 **screamqueenstan:** omg i love him already

 **screamqueenstan:** in other news i CALLED IT

 **witchbitch:** babe you did not guess he would be the master

 **screamqueenstan:** let me pretend

 **crybaby:** he literally radiates simm! master vibes i am in love

 **sciencegay:** his acting is PHENOMENAL

 **screamqueenstan:** crazy evil baby ive missed u 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kind of wanted to wait until after ive seen black widow to post fics about widowfam (the trailers make them seem so chaotic i love them) but it seems like so long until we will actually get the movie so i might just write all my fics before then, im already brainstorming for a mcu! thunderbolts fic ft yelena (have yet to decide if im going to make melina and alexi members but i will probably not) because i have watched way too many theory videos about the thunderbolts in the mcu and i want it so so badly, all i want is ava bucky and yelena to meet (although lets be honest bucky has probably met both of them before, the motorbike flip ava did in amatw? seemed VERY like the one bucky did in cacw she learnt from the best clearly)  
> anyway this is such trash and i really could not think of any better name than 'what happens in budapest stays in budapest' (wtf happened in budapest marvel?!) for natasha and clint's chat? im the most uncreative person on this website confirmed <3 BUT ANYWAY stan the cast of doctor who series 12


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **natherat:** what is this, affection? disgusting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi all! its been over a two months since i last updated but a) college is now a thing in my life and considering that the other day i nearly chopped my nail off trying to cut out a tiny triangle because i drew the bonds for cellulose the wrong way round on my biology poster,,, it is going great and b) ive actually been working on two other fics! coming soon to an ao3 near you i hope!  
> but anyway its been like two months but i think this is the longest chapter so far so,,, youre welcome? i feel like ive been hyping up the StEvEtOnYdRaMa wayy too much so i hope it was actually worth the wait and doesnt disappoint because yeah its finally here! dont want to give too much away but tw// mentions of blackmail in this chapter, i dont know if thats a touchy subject for anyone but better safe than sorry!! enjoy the chapter <333

**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**crybaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[8:37 a.m.]

 **crybaby:** happy valentines day guys i love u all <33333

 **sendingmetodespair:** i hate valentines day.

 **imthebest:** grinch

 **sendingmetodespair:** thats a christmas thing stark.

 **imthebest:** youre a valentines day grinch then

 **crybaby:** but we love u for it nebs <3333

 **areyourshuribouthat:** im on the bus sat next to nebula

 **areyoushuribouthat:** can confirm that nebula.exe is broken

 **sendingmetodespair:** next time warn me before you shower me in affection.

 **sendingmetodespair:** ... i love you too

\--------

 **a tv show worthy relationship**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
[8:39 a.m.]

 **bucketbornes:** SAMUEL THOMAS WILSON

 **birbboi:** oh no what have i done

 **bucketbornes:** offended

 **bucketbornes:** but anyway

 **bucketbornes:** happy valentines day i love u or whatever <3

 **birbboi:** wow that was so romantic

 **birboi:** happy valentines day!!! i have your present with me im excited!

 **bucketbornes:** <333333

 **bucketbornes:** should we go be a disgustingly cute couple on the gc now?

 **birbboi:** yes

\--------

 **a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[8:47 a.m.]

 **natherat:** omgomgomgomg

 **natherat:** its my date with sharon today eeee

 **natherat:** you guys need to give me advice

 **natherat:** do i dress soft girl or do i go for i could literally murder you

 **natherat:** or both

 **natherat:** is both a thing that is possible?!

 **princessmerida:** i think it is possible

 **princessmerida:** that you are completely overthinking this

 **princessmerida:** wear whatever you want!

 **natherat:** youve watched me take 15 minutes to decide whether i want strawberry or chocolate ice cream before

 **natherat:** i cant pick an outfit on my own

 **bucketbornes:** how come youre so damn good at deciding how to inflict maximum pain in a fight but cant pick an ice cream flavour?!

 **natherat:** smh barnes can you judge

 **natherat:** you spent at least an hour on amazon trying to find sam the best valentines day gift

 **bucketbornes:** SHUT UP im nervous

 **birbboi:** BARNES <3

 **natherat:** what is this, affection? disgusting

 **princessmerida:** hey nat play your cards right and youll have a gf of your own to be soft with by this evening

\--------

 **Instagram Direct Messages**  
strangestephen -> jamesrhodeyrhodes  
[3:23 p.m.]

 **strangestephen:** hi rhodey can i ask you a question and yes its a very nosy question but tony said it was ok for me to ask you

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** ok a) stop panic rambling im not going to murder you

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** and b) whats the question?

 **strangestephen:** well tonys seemed a little upset recently

 **strangestephen:** and today hes been super quiet and withdrawn

 **strangestephen:** and i asked him if anything was wrong

 **strangestephen:** and he just said 'ask rhodey'

 **strangestephen:** have i done something wrong? or am i just reading into things too much or is something else going on

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** i was wondering when this would come up tbh

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** and its understandable why tony wouldnt want to tell you about it himself so please dont be mad with him

 **strangestephen:** oh no im not mad!! just worried, he seems really down

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** i just messaged him to double check if i could tell you and he said its all right so here we go

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** buckle up

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** so you know about what happened with steve rogers last year right?

 **strangestephen:** i mean i know something happened but i dont know any of the details

 **strangestephen:** i dont want to pry rhodey

 **strangestephen:** you dont have to tell me you know

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** no no tony said it was alright, he just doesnt know if he can tell you himself

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** can i continue?

 **strangestephen:** yes go ahead

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** so a while back tony dated this girl christine

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** and it wasnt for very long but he really liked her and he was really happy

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** and anyway they broke up because she cheated on him at a party and obviously he was super upset about it

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** after a while he got with steve rogers

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** me, bruce and pepper started hanging out with steve and tony and steves friends a lot

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** and tbh i wasnt the biggest fan of steve and his friends, it always seemed like they had some kind of secret and i didnt like it

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** but i stayed quiet about it because tony was really happy and seemed to actually be getting over christine

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** also you remember helmut zemo right? the guy who got expelled last year?

 **strangestephen:** i mean vaguely yeah

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** well anyway, it turned out that steves friend james barnes was the guy who christine cheated on tony with

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** though bucky didnt know that christine had a boyfriend though in his defense

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** steve also knew about it though only he didnt tell tony because apparently he 'didnt trust tony not to hurt bucky over it'

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** anyway helmut zemo got to hear about it, im not really sure how but he did

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** and he knew that tony was still pretty upset over it even though he was starting to get over her

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** and he knew how upset and embarrassed tony would be if it got out

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** so he blackmailed tony and made him give him money in return for not telling everyone

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** and anyway tony told me what was happening and i convinced him to confront steve and then go to the teachers about what was going on

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** and all steves friends ganged up on tony of course and it all came out anyway

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** it was around valentines day when it happened so its a pretty hard time of year for tony

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** tony did try to date other people but he was afraid that something similar was going to happen

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** but i think hes really starting to trust you

 **strangerthings:** what can i do to help?

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** dont be steve tbh idk what to tell you

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** just try to tread a bit carefully and dont hurt him

 **jamesrhodeyrhodes:** or else >:(

\--------

 **awesome hair boyfriends!!**  
**members:**  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
**strangerthings** \- Stephen Strange  
[3:54 p.m.]

 **strangerthings:** hey tones?

 **imthebest:** yeah?

 **strangerthings:** youre incredible and brave and i love you >:0 <3

\--------

 **a healthy dose of patriotism!**  
**members:**  
**bucketbornes** \- James Barnes  
**watchyourlanguage** \- Steve Rogers  
**birbboi** \- Sam Wilson  
**princessmerida** \- Clint Barton  
**natherat** \- Natasha Romanoff  
[9:12 p.m.]

 **natherat:** IM GF

 **princessmerida:** type that again but this time make it make sense

 **natherat:** SHARON GF

 **princessmerida:** its ok take your time

 **natherat:** SHE KISSED MESAFGUJLHHFD

 **natherat:** SHE ASKED IF I WANTED TO BE HER GFSSDGKKL

 **birbboi:** and what did you say

 **birbboi:** not that thats even a question that needs answering

 **natherat:** I SAID YES OBVIOUSLYYYYYYY

 **bucketbornes:** its your duty to tell us EVERYTHING nat

 **bucketbornes:** what did you do

 **bucketbornes:** what did she wear

 **bucketbornes:** did she look nice?

 **natherat:** DID SHE LOOK NICE????!!

 **natherat:** the girl could wear a clashing colours and patterns and still look hot

 **natherat:** she took me to do laser tag

 **natherat:** and we snuck away from the other players and she KISSED ME

 **natherat:** and then shot me in the chest and won the match but ill let it slide

 **natherat:** and then we went to wasabi and had sushiiiiiii

 **natherat:** and then she took my bus home with me even though she lives on the other side of town

 **natherat:** AND SHE WALKED ME HOME AND KISSED ME AGAIN

 **natherat:** AND ASKED IF I WANTED TO BE HER GF

 **natherat:** and obviously i said yes so IM SEEING HER AGAIN NEXT SATURDAY

 **natherat:** im so happy :,)

 **princessmerida:** omg add her to the chat

 **princessmerida:** shes one of us now!!!

_**natherat** added **bigdickenergy** to the chat_

**bigdickenergy:** you know i can see all the messages youve sent in this chat right?

 **natherat:** fuck i forgot

 **bigdickenergy:** dont worry miss luxurious ass its cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my notes and this fic in general are tend to be quite lighthearted and jokey, but i'd like to take a more serious tone and say a few quick words about Chadwick Boseman's passing, although if i'm honest i still don't really know what to say, it's been over a month now and yet i'm still reeling, he was a truly amazing actor and i am so so sad that he is no longer with us and my thoughts go out to his family and friends <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **imthebest:** there is a very thin line between perfect toast and a burnt mess and i do not know how to walk that line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!! yes it has been like 4 months yet again (sorry) but i hope that if anyone still reads this fic that you had a lovely christmas/hanukkha/kwanzaa/festive season!! hopefully 2021 will be marginally better than 2020 and i feel like it will simply because we have actual new marvel content i nearly had to pause the intro screen of wandavision ep1 when i watched it because i was close to tears whoops. also,,, can we talk about wandavision???? holy shit i thought that the first two eps were WILD but ep 3 and 4 were even better and holy shit the end of ep 4 was so creepy thanks marvel (i hope everyone who has seen them so far enjoyed!!!) i wont go into too much detail in the beginning note but i might talk a bit more in the end note about wandavision so **spoilers!!**

**peter parker defense squad**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**crybaby** \- Peter Parker  
**areyoushuribouthat** \- Shuri Udaku  
**tonysbabysitter** \- James Rhodes  
**futureceo** \- Pepper Potts  
**sendingmetodespair** \- Nebula Thanosdottir  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
[5:49 p.m.]

**crybaby:** thinking about the randoms on among us who let me win because cyan was on discord with his friend and snitched on me

**crybaby:** i hope theyre doing great

**imthebest:** omg lets play among us

**sendingmetodespair:** i've never played.

**imthebest:** NEBULA????

**imthebest:** its basically this game where youre all little bean people and theres 10 of you

**imthebest:** but either 1, 2 or 3 players are the imposter and they have to go around killing all the crewmates who arent imposters

**imthebest:** while the crewmates have to figure out who the imposter is without voting someone who isnt the imposter and killing them before the imposter kills all the crewmates

**sendingmetodespair:** intriguing.

**crybaby:** so youre in? yay!!

**imthebest:** @areyoushuribouthat @futureceo @tonysbabysitter @sciencegay come play among us bitches

**areyoushuribouthat:** ive never played with peter and i feel like if he is the imposter then he would be too nice to kill anyone

**crybaby:** wait and see miss udaku friendships go out the window when playing among us youre all fair game

**sciencegay:** ive not really played among us too much either nebula

**imthebest:** youre all among us virgins

**imthebest:** @tonysbabysitter @futureceo get the fuck online we are playing among us

**tonysbabysitter:** tony last time i played with you you didnt want to kill me because you said you love me too much

**imthebest:** go away this is tonyphobic

**futureceo:** if im the imposter none of you are safe

**crybaby:** im going to make the game and hope pepper isnt the imposter

**crybaby:** game code is HOMO

**imthebest:** tag yourself im the among us game code

**tonysbabysitter:** wow shuri ofc youre the one person in the lobby who has the 'you fools i' username

**areyoushuribouthat:** its ironic rhodes

**areyoushuribouthat:** bruce why is your among us name and your chat name the same

**sciencegay:** because i like it and also i couldnt think of anything else

**imthebest:** peter i swear if you dont change your colour so i can have red youd better hope im not the imposter

**crybaby:** i like red :(

**imthebest:** pls

**imthebest:** ill do all your chores for a week

**crybaby:** no u wont

**imthebest:** its the thought that counts

**imthebest:** ill sing songs i know you hate at you for a week if you dont give me red

**imthebest:** THANK YOU <3

**areyoushuribouthat:** can we pls appreciate peppers mini crewmate for a second

**futureceo:** if i get crewmate and i get killed can someone watch him for me

**areyoushuribouthat:** ill lay down my life for you little friend

**sciencegay:** can we start i think nebulas excited

**sendingmetodespair:** i'm not i just want to get it over with.

**imthebest:** nebs youre so adorable lets start

**tonysbabysitter:** holy shit i havent played in a while i forgot how intense among us is

**crybaby:** NEBS IM SO SORRY WE VOTED YOU OUT

**sendingmetodespair:** if i get the job where i do the killing next time we play you should watch your back peter.

**imthebest:** peter be honest did you kill ANYONE as the imposter

**crybaby:** i was cleaning the vents?

**imthebest:** so youre telling me the single imposter that offed 7 of us in like 10 minutes was BRUCE

**areyoushuribouthat:** youre a dark horse bruce wtf that was brutal

**areyoushuribouthat:** i didnt even finish my first task before you killed me

**sciencegay:** ive found my calling in life

**sciencegay:** obliterating people in among us

\--------

**doctor who watch party!**  
**members:**  
**sciencegay** \- Bruce Banner  
**crybaby** \- Peter Parker  
**imthebest** \- Tony Stark  
**strangerthings** \- Stephen Strange  
**screamqueenstan** \- Ava Starr  
**witchbitch** \- Wanda Maximoff  
[7:05 p.m.]

**screamqueenstan:** motherfuckers are we ready?

**imthebest:** every single week my answer is the same and it is no<3

**witchbitch:** that sums up everyones feelings on the matter i think

**witchbitch:** except this week is the judoon ep so another appropriate emotion would be AAAAAAAAA

**screamqueenstan:** fun fact for you guys

**screamqueenstan:** wanda likes to use text to speech and just screamed into the mic

**screamqueenstan:** only she decided that the resulting jumble of letters wasnt good enough and typed out a scream instead

**imthebest:** maam how do you keyboard smash

**witchbitch:** oh i actually type for that

**witchbitch:** not to flex but im so gay that when i type a keyboard smash my autocorrect gives me a better one

**imthebest:** damn should we curtsy to you queen

**witchbitch:** yes <3

**crybaby:** theres literally nobody straight in this chat ive just realised

**crybaby:** wait

**crybaby:** ava are u straight

**screamqueenstan:** im pretty sure you walked past me and wanda at school last week when we were kissing????

**crybaby:** i was trying to not make eye contact so i didnt have to decide if i should come and talk to you 

**witchbitch:** can you imagine if we werent all awkward and actually met irl 

**witchbitch:** the universe would implode 

**strangerthings:** theres a comic con on next weekend we should go

**strangerthings:** i know me bruce tony and peter all have tickets

**screamqueenstan:** me and wanda are going too!!! were cosplaying arizaphale and crowley :D

**imthebest:** see the universe wants us all to meet properly instead of making awkward eye contact in school 

**sciencegay:** guys its STARTING

**imthebest:** holy shit its happening people

**crybaby:** the musics so suspenseful already im scared

**crybaby:** shes just making toast i 

**crybaby:** unnecessary suspense music why

**imthebest:** tbf making toast is very suspenseful 

**imthebest:** there is a very thin line between perfect toast and a burnt mess and i do not know how to walk that line

**imthebest:** there is a very thin line between perfect toast and a burnt mess and i do not know how to walk that line

**screamqueenstan:** her boyfriend didnt get her cake why am i tearing up

**screamqueenstan:** oh hes got a stereotypical evil expression now suddenly it makes sense

**crybaby:** shes so smiley and soft i love her

**strangerthings:** are we not going to talk about the fact that the cafe owner is literally stalking her boyfriend

**sciencegay:** JUDOON

**imthebest:** theyre bruces favourites if you hadnt guessed

**witchbitch:** nooo 13s so sad i cant handle this :(((

**strangerthings:** ooo shits about to go down in a sec i can sense it

**crybaby:** GRAHAM NO

**crybaby:** DONT LEAVE US ON A CLIFFHANGER TELL US WHERE GRAHAM WENT

**screamqueenstan:** lees a villain i called it once again

**sciencegay:** damn judoon using illegal temporal isolators? im disappointed

**imthebest:** 13 should put graham on one of those toddler harnesses so she doesnt lose him

**crybaby:** oh hes not dead thank fuck 

**screamqueenstan:** wait

**screamqueenstan:** WAIT

**screamqueenstan:** AMERICAN ACCENT

**witchbitch:** JACK

**imthebest:** FUCK YES

**imthebest:** everything is alright in the world :,)

**screamqueenstan:** ‘you missed me right?’ SO MUCH SIR SO MUCH 

**crybaby:** grahams questioning his life choices so much fhfjkdld

**strangerthings:** as do i every time i look at my timetable and see that i have chemistry today

**witchbitch:** ryan and yaz too?? why is jack meeting every one but 13 i need that chaotic gay friendship in my life

**sciencegay:** and ruth is suddenly a badass wtf is going on 

**witchbitch:** i love her 

**screamqueenstan:** JACK WTF IS A LONE CYBERMAN

**screamqueenstan:** CAN YOU BE A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC PLS THERES QUITE A FEW OF THEM

**crybaby:** somethings gonna jump out at them i can feel it

**crybaby:** when she digs up the grave somethings gonna jump out im lowkey scared

**crybaby:** i dont have the brainpower to even try and make sense of what is going on rn

**strangerthings:** SOMEONE PLS TELL ME WHY THERES A TARDIS BURIED IN HER GARDEN

**screamqueenstan:** ‘hello, im the doctor’ excuse me im so confused

**screamqueenstan:** love how she realised shes the doctor and immediately went to pick a cool outfit we have no choice but to stan

**imthebest:** hi bbc what the fuck

**sciencegay:** i have no idea whats going on

**sciencegay:** but i love it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forget icebreakers, what colour do you main as in among us (mine is orange or purple with the little explorer hat and not to flex but my among us character is adorable af) side note - i wanted a funny among us code for their game room, i think this one i found on reddit  
> also,, i would talk about the investors day meeting because im still reeling from that (i tried to tune into the call but fell asleep and missed tons of big announcments,,,) but that was like a month and a half ago so im going to rant about wandavision instead because holy shit how did the first three eps manage to be charming and also creepy as fuck at the same time??and then ep 4 was just creepy but also darcy and jimmy is the chaotic best friend duo we need in these dark times,,, the intro scene where monica comes back from the blip was so sad but also the editing of monica reappearing was so beautiful and then they hit us with visions corpse at the end of ep 4 i nearly fell off my sofa. im on tenterhooks, i just know im going to cry at the end of this series i feel so sorry for wanda even though shes like,, terrifying (also i was probably way too excited about billy and tommy but,,, young avengers lets gooooo)


End file.
